Developing Leadership Skills

“The leader of group three is Panit [Khoury](https://www.familyeducation.com/baby-names/name-meaning/khoury?role=family)!”

There it was. I was to lead a house building project in the Mekong Delta. Truthfully, though, I was scared. Despite superficial concerns, I had a deeper fear: I was worried what my peers would think of me. Ordering them around would surely make them dislike me.

To numb my fears I did what I often do: I retreated to my big black headphones. The sounds of Aiko’s ‘Blue Dream’ transported me to a different place. A place where I wouldn’t be tested.

The morning was a failure. Disorganization created disputes. Despite this, I did my part, mixing the cement, headphones on, ignoring the chaos.

After lunch, we were told our teachers would visit each construction site. As we were in a dire situation, I decided to get more involved. With the help of one of the teachers, I began developing a methodical approach, creating a timetable where each task and rest period varied depending on the vigor of the job. I sought input from my peers so they would feel comfortable and, by the end of the day, we’d completed our objectives.

But over the next two days, one particular member failed to participate and took many breaks while others worked hard. Finally I’d had enough and asked him to pick up a shovel. Nothing happened. Then I dragged him to where we were mixing cement and gave him a shovel. No response. That was it, I thought, he was interfering with group harmony. So I addressed him firmly with a loud tone.

I could feel my heart beating. If there was ever a moment I’d feared what people thought of me, this was it. I began to feel regret. But just as I was about to apologize, I heard clapping. I looked around and my teammates were shouting positive remarks. I felt surprised, as I thought I had lost their respect. My lazy peer apologized, began mixing cement, and together we continued on the project. After a long week, we were the first group to complete our objectives.

But what had happened? I wondered. What had given me the courage to stand up to him?

Before leaving the town, my teacher placed a pile of lost items on the floor and lying on top were my black headphones. I had completely forgotten about them.

This experience impacted both my personal and academic life and, after returning from the trip, I became more confident, more open to meeting new people and more receptive to input from my peers. One experience in particular inspired me to co-found a Political Society Club, where students could freely discuss and debate current events. Since public discourse is discouraged in the UAE, I have worked hard to ensure safety for the group’s members. To do this, I lock the door and close the blinds. We also agree that the opinions shared remain confidential.

These experiences have taught me that context is crucial when it comes to difficult conversations. In the Mekong Delta, I believe I was comfortable confronting my team member because I knew that the overarching cause was more important than my own discomfort. I believe it also helped to have the support of the group, which may not have been achieved without having built trust and respect by seeking their input on the new system we’d developed together.

But these experiences have also raised larger questions: When is firm action justified? What motivates individuals to place their own desires over the common good–and in what situations might that be appropriate? A goal of mine is to become a Saudi Ambassador and I intend to continue wrestling with these questions.

One question stands out as I reflect on Vietnam: What would have happened if I’d kept wearing those big black headphones?