Oaths, Shapeshifting, and Magic
In my free time, I love to research the Cosmere collection, an expansive fictional universe where Brandon Sanderson’s series of books take place. I am drawn to the Cosmere because of the similarities between the books and my own journey and life experiences. In particular, I relate to three recurring concepts–oaths, shapeshifting, and magic.
In the Stormlight Archive series, oaths serve as a hallmark of the Surgebinding magic system. Each oath involves a character swearing themselves to specific ideals to unlock powers. During this past year, I have sworn to my own ideal: to work to understand and honor my emotions. In the past, I ignored many of my emotions on the basis that they were irrational, finding them distracting and confusing. At the forefront of this struggle were the feelings of gender dysphoria that had grown stronger during my early teens. I had stopped looking in mirrors because I could not relate to my reflection. Eventually, I could no longer ignore my emotions and committed myself to understanding these emotions rather than shut them out. Although I did not like dealing with my conflicting emotions, I addressed them to unlock the person inside me. I began my gender transformation to become who I was always meant to be.
My transformation journey parallels the experience of the Kandra, shapeshifters that can perfectly imitate a person’s appearance. Kandra are essentially the ultimate genderfluid creatures. However, they experience emotional struggles when their internal identities don’t align with their assumed physical forms. In some ways I can relate to these struggles. When I was young, I would daydream about living as a woman but did not understand why. I was perplexed as to why I secretly envied my female peers. Yet I am different from the Kandra, as I am actively forming a new physical identity that aligns with my emotional identity. As I take feminizing hormones and begin to physically transition from male to female, I am transforming into a person that is internally and externally congruent. I am becoming happy with my physical appearance as it aligns with my internal identity. I wonder if the Kandra would be happier if they changed into a body matching their own emotional identity like I did?
Just as gender and magic mix with the shapeshifting Kandra, magic and scientific principles are blended in the Cosmere. Fueled by magical energy, Windrunners wield “Lashings” to manipulate the gravitational forces acting on an object, a concept Sanderson derives from Newtonian dynamics. I love how Lashings feel simultaneously scientific and magical, and I see myself pursuing scientific efforts that feel magical in the same way. I want to study astronautics and fusion energy, areas of science where so many of the elements feel unreal. For example, deep space travel could only be imagined as the plot for sci-fi movies just 50 years ago, and now is the basis for a rapidly growing commercial industry. I look in awe at tokamaks, devices that use magnetic confinement fields to contain fusion reactions that replicate conditions like those in the core of the sun. I want to explore ways to utilize fusion energy to propel deep space travel. These are endeavors that are paving the way for the dreams of yesterday to be the realities of tomorrow. How could someone think these scientific achievements aren’t magical? I plan to be a part of this magic.
Magic can be found all around us, although it may not be present in the same way it is in Sanderson’s novels. The ability to change genders, transforming one’s physical and emotional forms, is its own form of enchantment. Many scientific accomplishments realized today were once assumed to be impossibilities. In a way, isn’t magic the embodiment of making the impossible a reality? This is already true for me and I can’t wait for my realization of other magical impossibilities.