Is your college essay… great? The criteria below will help you decide.
Quick context (feel free to skip): Years ago, I created a Great College Essay Test that was published in my book, College Essay Essentials. But you know what it was missing? A more robust inclusion of qualities colleges look for. So consider this: The Great College Essay Test 2.0… with (more of) of what colleges are looking for.
I believe a great college essay should take into account both:
Qualities that colleges are seeking
Qualities of a great personal essay
Without including qualities that college admission officers are seeking, a piece risks being a great piece of writing… but not a great college essay. Alternately, an essay might include qualities colleges are looking for… but not be a great piece of writing.
Ideally, a college essay should have both.
Five Qualities Colleges Like to See
Recently, my team and I researched 300+ college and university websites to see if we could determine a set of overlapping qualities — things that, pretty reliably, admission officers like to see in essays and applications. We read through hundreds of mission statements, strategic plans, and pages like this one from Caltech.
The result: our list of five college admission “nutrients.”
Important: We don’t want these to become like a Ten (or Five!) Commandments of College Applications! Think of these more like ingredients of a healthy application (aka “nutrients”).
In no particular order, then, here they are…
Intellectual curiosity
Service to others / Community impact
Leadership or initiative
Collaboration
Consistent engagement
Learn more about each of those on this blog.
Ooh, and I recorded a 6-part podcast with admission officers that breaks down what each of these looks at + why they’re important in high school, college, and life.
How to Use These Five Qualities:
Scan your personal statement and ask yourself, “Do these qualities show up in my essay? Or not so much?”
If yes, highlight where specifically.
If not so much, where might you include the quality… or how could the quality be made even more clear in the essay?
Note: Not ALL of these qualities need to come through in your personal statement—it could be that the qualities come through in another part of your application. Something like “consistent engagement,” for instance, might be evident in your activities list. Or a teacher recommendation letter might speak to your "intellectual curiosity” or “collaboration.” But it’s a not a bad idea to scan for these qualities and specific examples from your life that show them.
But remember: We want a great piece of personal writing too. So let’s turn our attention to…
Four Qualities of a Great Personal Essay
Below are four qualities that are consistently present in personal statements that have been successful over the years.
They are (again, in no particular order):
Core Values (aka Information)
Vulnerability
“So what” moments (aka Important & interesting connections)
Craft
How might you use these criteria? Read your essay aloud, or have someone else read it aloud, then ask these questions:
Core Values (aka Information). Can you name at least 4-5 of the author’s core values? Do you detect a variety of values, or do the values repeat?
Examples of NOT varied values: hard work, determination, perseverance
Examples of more varied values: autonomy, resourcefulness, healthy boundaries, diversity
Vulnerability. Does the essay sound like it’s mostly analytical or like it’s coming from a deeper, more vulnerable place?
Another way of asking this: Does it sound like the author wrote it using mostly their head (intellect) or their heart and gut?
After reading the essay, do you know more about the author AND feel closer to him or her?
“So what” moments (aka Important & interesting connections). Can you identify at least 3-5 “so what” moments of insight in the essay?
Are these moments kind of predictable, or are they truly illuminating?
Craft. Do the ideas in the essay connect in a way that is logical, but not too obvious (aka boring)?
Can you tell that the essay represents a series of carefully considered choices and that the author spent a lot of time revising the essay over the course of several drafts?
Is it interesting and succinct throughout? If not, where do you lose interest?
Where could words be cut or which part isn’t revealing as much as it could be?
Anticipated FAQ: How many of these traits do you need to “pass the test?”
Aim for a majority— so, 3 out of 4, if possible. For most students, the area that may or may not be as explicitly folded into your personal statement is vulnerability. Think of this as a quality that can, in some cases, help you establish a personal connection with your reader (whom may never meet!).
That said, it is still entirely possible to write a personal statement that helps you get into a great college and isn’t explicitly anchored in these qualities, or doesn’t feel particularly “vulnerable.” These have just served as some guidelines for students we’ve worked with over the years.
If you’re feeling bold… Give your essay to someone else and ask them to evaluate it based on both the five nutrients and the four qualities. And yes, nine qualities is a lot, but hey we can do hard things.
Want more college essay and application resources? Check out my College Application Hub for the latest and greatest of my admissions resources.
Want to work with a coach to see if your essay passes the Great College Essay Test? CEG offers one-on-one essay coaching. Click here to schedule a free call to find out more. And there’s no cost barrier; low-income students can apply for support here.
Want to see an essay that demonstrates all these qualities? Here you go.
The Escape Rooms Essay
“The United States is under attack!” My eyes widen listening to the words coming from the speaker. “The nuclear missile program has been compromised and you’re now locked in the presidential bunker, moments away from war.” That doesn’t sound good. “You have sixty minutes to disarm the missiles, good luck.” The fate of the world is in my hands…
The fate of the world isn’t actually in the hands of a 17-year-old girl (I hope). This is just the name of the game when it comes to escape rooms. I first suggested that my family attempt one when we started encountering communication issues; now they're the tradition that brings us closer, allowing us to learn more about each other in a mind-bending way. However, the lessons I’ve taken away from escape rooms extend much further than this.
The instant the timer starts ticking downwards, my eyes dart left and right. 60… 59:59… Any of the various items meticulously placed around The Treehouse’s setting could serve as a vital puzzle piece. My analytical mind not only helps plan my getaway in an escape room, but also enables me to look after my community. Living in Chicago’s southside but attending a school near downtown let me witness first-hand the disparities regarding funding and profitability between start-ups created by minorities in my predominantly African American community and nonminorities in the financial district. This observation prompted me to develop an entrepreneurship program that introduces Black girls to resources needed to create their own businesses. Being Black is a substantial part of my identity, so it’s important for me to see others of a similar complexion in a position to make a difference. I strive to make others feel represented, and my ability to analyze situations to create opportunities allows me to do this.
The door to a second room pops open. 36:28… 36:27… Escape rooms spark a sense of curiosity that I couldn’t imagine gaining elsewhere. Upon entering The Wizard of Oz, I’m left wondering how the trees placed before me are programmed to blink in Morse code. This curiosity extends into other aspects of my life, leading me to question, for example, how Bernoulli's principle permits objects to levitate through air currents despite seemingly unbalanced forces. Or, and what the greatest possible length for a straw is (after dragging a tube-like model up three flights of stairs, I can confidently say 32-feet). The creative facet of escape rooms also triggers my innovative spirit. Though time-consuming, I enjoy scouring through leftover craft supplies to find popsicle sticks for my latest Rube Goldberg machine because it allows me to experiment with creating systems to solve everyday tasks. By letting my thoughts run wild and engaging in clever endeavors, I gain a feeling of satisfaction knowing that some day the product of my doing will impact a project expanding beyond myself.
The last room looms. 2:01… 2…
Okay, to be honest I don’t always escape the rooms in time. The Museum Heist is an example– ultimately, the challenge of squirming through vents and deactivating lasers triumphed over me. Yet, I left grateful knowing I’d be better prepared for our next puzzle. And I’ve worked hard to notdon’t let other setbacks deter me. I was crushed after finding out I didn’t advance to nationals in my freshman year of Business Professionals of America, but after tweaking my presentation with the feedback provided, I emerged stronger the following year, earning second place. I approach every situation eager to participate, willing to fail, and determined to grow because each experience enables me to seek improved solutions moving forward. I’ve learned that success comes with roadblocks, but outcomes are even more satisfying with a story to tell.
I’m ready to enter the next stage of my life as an engineer with the insights that escape rooms have given me. Maybe I’m prepared to have the fate of the world in my hands after all.
