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You’ll find an extensive, by-the-numbers look at Dartmouth’s offerings, from enrollment and tuition statistics to student life and financial aid information, on its Common Data Set. For insight into how this private research university envisions its historic “Inclusive Excellence” initiative to foster diversity, check out the Provost’s Diversity Plan (feel free to skim if you need to). Reading through this will give you a strong idea of what Dartmouth values, what its future looks like (and how and where you may fit in).
But please don’t just copy and paste chunks of the plan into your essay because a) that’s plagiarism and basically an academic crime, and b) anyone can do that.
More on what you should do instead below.
What are the Dartmouth supplemental essay prompts?
Prompt #1
Required of all applicants. Please respond in 100 words or fewer: Dartmouth celebrates the ways in which its profound sense of place informs its profound sense of purpose. As you seek admission to Dartmouth's Class of 2027, what aspects of the College's academic program, community, or campus environment attract your interest? In short, Why Dartmouth? Please respond in 100 words or fewer.
Prompt #2
Required of all applicants. Please respond to one of the following prompts in 250 words or fewer:
- There is a Quaker saying: Let your life speak. Describe the environment in which you were raised and the impact it has had on the person you are today.
- "Be yourself," Oscar Wilde advised. "Everyone else is taken." Introduce yourself.
Prompt #3
Please choose one of the following prompts and respond in 250 words or fewer:
- What excites you?
- Labor leader and civil rights activist Dolores Huerta recommended a life of purpose. "We must use our lives to make the world a better place to live, not just to acquire things," she said. "That is what we are put on the earth for." In what ways do you hope to make—or are you making—an impact? Why? How?
- Dr. Seuss, aka Theodor Geisel of Dartmouth's Class of 1925, wrote, "Think and wonder. Wonder and think." What do you wonder and think about? As you wonder and think, what’s on your mind?
- Celebrate your nerdy side.
- “It’s not easy being green…” was the frequent refrain of Kermit the Frog. How has difference been a part of your life, and how have you embraced it as part of your identity and outlook?
- As noted in the College’s mission statement, “Dartmouth educates the most promising students and prepares them for a lifetime of learning and of responsible leadership…” Promise and potential are important aspects of the assessment of any college application, but they can be elusive qualities to capture. Highlight your potential and promise for us; what would you like us to know about you?
How to Write Each Supplemental Essay Prompt for Dartmouth
How to Write the Dartmouth Supplemental Essay #1
Dartmouth celebrates the ways in which its profound sense of place informs its profound sense of purpose. As you seek admission to Dartmouth's Class of 2027, what aspects of the College's academic program, community, or campus environment attract your interest? In short, Why Dartmouth? Please respond in 100 words or fewer.
This is a super short “Why us?” essay.
Because it’s so short, the key will be finding 2-3 reasons that set Dartmouth apart from all the other schools you’re applying to.
Here’s the “Why us?” essay guide—in this case the Cornell example is probably the best example to check out. We talk a bit about how to tackle the shorter version of this essay, and the Tufts example is a great one.
Here’s the short version:
Spend 1 hr+ researching 7+ reasons why Dartmouth might be a great fit for you (ideally these reasons will be unique to Dartmouth and connect back to you).
Maybe make a copy of this chart to help you map out your college research.
Pick the top 3-4 reasons and consider drafting a one-sentence thesis to set your essay up.
Write a first draft!
As you write, try to avoid these common mistakes:
Six Common Mistakes Students Make on “Why Us?” Essays
Mistake #1: Writing about Dartmouth’s size, location, reputation, weather, or ranking.
Mistake #2: Simply using emotional language to demonstrate fit.
Mistake #3: Screwing up the mascot, stadium, team colors, or names of any important people or places on campus.
Mistake #4: Parroting the brochures or website language.
Mistake #5: Describing traditions the school is well-known for.
Mistake #6: Thinking of this as only a "Why them" essay.
Here’s a great sample essay for this prompt:
As someone who aspires to become an economist fighting climate change, I believe Dartmouth will be the best place to start. I look forward to model policy-making projects in Environmental Problem Analysis and Policy Formulation (ENV 50), but also applying these experiences to the Sustainability Task Force, where I hope to explore renewable solutions to contribute to Dartmouth’s 50% renewable energy target by 2025. But when I’m not at the Irving Institute for Energy and Society or on an Energy Immersion Trip, I hope to dig into new dishes with Spoon members or write preposterous (yet meaningful) articles for Jack-O-Lantern.
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Tips + Analysis:
Be direct. With just 100 words, there’s little room for verbal bubble wrap. Just the goods. If you know what you want to study/be/do, consider clearly naming your dream or aspiration in the first sentence. This writer tells us that she aspires to be a climate change-fighting economist (cool) and alludes to a future major or double major (bonus). If you don’t know what you want to do/study/major in, don’t worry, just focus on the tips below.
List specific classes. This shows that you’ve done your research (and for one of the most research-intensive universities in the United States, maybe even the world, this matters). Listing specific, pertinent classes is the first rite of passage to make it into the “Why us?” essay hall of fame. This student takes it a step further, showing us how she’ll apply the knowledge she’s gained from “Environmental Problem Analysis and Policy Formulation (ENV 50)” to the “Sustainability Task Force,” where she’ll contribute to a university-wide goal (“50% renewable energy target by 2025”). Gold stars for days.
Imagine yourself at Dartmouth: Rather than writing, “I hope to participate in the Irving Institute for Energy and Society,” this student uses the present tense (“I’m”) as if she is already at Dartmouth. Paint a picture of yourself on campus: What are you doing? How are you engaged with Dartmouth’s community in and out of the classroom? Imagination is a powerful tool. Help the reader see you there.
Show a side of yourself that you haven’t elsewhere in your application. We know you’re smart and motivated by research and academics. But, what else? Remember that these super-short essays are the speed dating of college essays. In the last line, we learn that this student is not just a future climate change-fighting economist, but also a foodie and a writer who plans to write “preposterous” and “meaningful” articles for the school magazine. What’s not to love?
Here’s another great example:
Dartmouth’s abundance of trees reminds me of my local arboretum, a refuge which has nurtured my science enthusiasm and encouraged me to branch out into social sciences. In the Biology-Modified major, Disease, The Environment, and Human History will teach me about diet modifications and diseases that have intensified negative environmental changes. Advocating for H.Res.109 (Green New Deal) has expanded my interests in sociology and environmental science. Through Health Disparities, I would learn how race and social class affect health treatments,while expanding the practical knowledge I’ve gained at Community-Servings, a nonprofit that provides healthy food for impoverished families. (100)
How to Write the Dartmouth Supplemental Essay #2
Please respond to one of the following prompts in 250 words or fewer:
If you look closely at these prompt options, they’re both really asking about what you feel makes you, you. While the first option pretty directly asks you to paint a picture of the world in which you grew up AND explain how that upbringing shows up in your current life, the second option points in that possible direction as well, but leaves it a bit more open ended (“Introduce yourself” is pretty wide open). It’s useful to keep in mind that Dartmouth wants to learn about who you are, but they’ll also be reading this thinking about how the current you will fit into their community.
As you think about the details of your upbringing to include in your response, remember to link them in clear and explicit ways to who you are now. For example, if you were raised in a household that valued the family time you spent together every night at the dinner table, it would make sense for you to link that to the ways you’ve created this same connection through food with your friends. It probably WOULDN’T make sense for you to link this dinner table time to your obsession with anime (unless of course, anime was a frequent topic of discussion over that plate of meatloaf). If you had an infinite word count, you’d have the space to tease out these obscure connections, but because 250 words is fairly short, you’ll want to lean into clarity and directness here.
Because the first option is new this year, the example below wasn’t written for it specifically, but because it was written for a very similar prompt for another school, it would work great here.
Example:
At family dinners over gnocchi and arancini, my grandpa would always ask my two older brothers how their education and sports were going. I’d wait for my turn to tell him about the math test I’d just aced or the cross-country race I’d worked so hard to win, but the question was never directed my way.
In contrast, my grandma always tells me how thankful she is that I’m able to get an education of my own. She frequently mentions how she regrets never getting an education, almost as if it were her fault. When she immigrated to America, she created the holes for buttons on men’s shirts in a clothing factory for $1 an hour to provide for her future family. I pursue my education with a fire within me to do what she wasn’t allowed to. During the summer of 2021, I realized that taking this initiative by myself wasn’t enough. I decided to write a children’s book about influential women in STEM in order to inspire the next generation of female scientists. Galvanized by the female researchers I worked with in the lab that same summer, I named the main character after the graduate student I worked with most frequently, Kate.
As I’ve worked to empower other girls, including my younger cousins, I’ve also gained confidence in using my voice. And I’ll no longer be quiet at the dinner table. (233 words)
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Tips + Analysis:
End at the beginning. Personal anecdotes are a great way to engage your reader right off the bat, and they also provide an excellent way for you to “show” your reader important details (eating gnocchi, chatting with Grandma and Grandpa). But even better than that, they give you a built-in option for a conclusion as well. If you start with a personal story, circling back to that story at the end of your response (this technique is often called “bookending”) is an excellent way to bring your essay full-circle. This writer does a nice job of starting with a picture of sitting at the table with family, then seamlessly moves into the idea of finding her voice, and the heads back to the dinner table. The final line makes the essay feel complete (not simply stopped).
Keep the focus on yourself. With a prompt like this, it is really easy to end up writing an essay that extols the virtues of someone you admire or has had a significant impact on you. But the people reading your essay want to know about YOU since you’re the one who will be gracing their halls, living in their dorms, and finding your place in their community (i.e., you want to avoid the “your grandma sounds awesome, does she want to attend our college?” pitfall). What this writer does so well is to mention the people who have impacted her without making the essay about them. Instead, she tells us how her grandmother’s experience energized and motivated her, and then she tells us what the outcome of that motivation is. Although this response features other people, it is squarely about the writer.
Don’t forget the “how.” This prompt is really asking you two things—to identify the people, environmental factors, and life experiences that have impacted your current self AND to explain HOW these people and experiences have left their mark. The “how” is such an important piece to this prompt because it is here that you get to offer some self-reflection. This writer doesn’t just tell us who the significant people in her life are; she also very clearly and specifically links their influence to the decisions she’s made. The “who” and the “what” are definitely important in this prompt, but don’t ignore the “how.”
And here’s an example written for a past Dartmouth prompt that would work well for option 2 (though would need to be cut by 50 words).
Option #2 Example:
•2002 Prasuti-Griha Hospital, Nepal. I’m born Shrinkhala Sunuwar. Eleven months later, my parents weep. Diversity Visa Lottery is a win and loss: my parents can't bring me to America with them.
•2008 Kathmandu, NP. I greet people with नमस्कार (namaste). Dust permeates my nostrils as I walk by others bargaining in market stalls to grandpa’s palm reading sessions. Flickering temple lights, smells of incense, and lively monkeys open my eyes to my Nepalese ethnicity and religion.
•2009 Brighton-MA. I become American and reunite with my parents. I’m mystified by July-4th fireworks. Autumn turns green leaves red and yellow. Other firsts: riding trains, biking in parks, learning to swim at the YMCA, and my first loss: grandpa’s death to laryngeal cancer. These experiences strengthen my character and impulse to explore the unknown.
•2012 Walter-St, Roslindale-MA. I become a photographer. My escape: Arnold Arboretum. I birdwatch and sit atop Peter’s Hill to marvel at the city view. I bike across winding trails that lead to secret destinations. Desire to capture nature leads to a love for photography.
•2015 Centre-St, Roslindale-MA. I’m reborn as Caroline Sunuwar. A paint palette and a palate for American dishes. First house. We spend hours painting walls red, white, and blue. I eat Harry’s All-American Breakfast, A & N Pizza, and burritos. I gain appreciation for America’s colors and flavors.
•2016 Boston, MA. I become a leader. BLCDC. Seven teenagers host drives, bake sales, petitions for nuclear disarmament through Mass Peace partnership. Social advocacy leads to a stronger self.
•2019 Everywhere. Hello has replaced नमस्कार. Instead of running around temples throwing bananas at monkeys, I pray peacefully at Sri Lakshmi temple. Rather than observing market vendors, I observe physicians, politicians, and researchers. The Diversity Visa Lottery that separated my parents and me has ultimately yielded more wins than losses. (300 words)
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Quick Tips + Analysis:
Due to the word limit for this one, if you want to include a challenge, keep it short and impactful. The writer clues us into incredible challenges (being separated from her parents for seven years and her grandfather dying while she’s away in America), but she doesn’t linger for too long on these. The essay could have been about seven years without her parents and how that shaped her (and in some ways, it is), but she keeps going. She shows her values of independence and adaptability. She also explores complexity. Instead of “My parents left me behind when they went to America,” for example, she writes, “Diversity Visa Lottery is a win and loss: my parents can't bring me to America with them.” This demonstrates that she recognizes the opportunity this change brought for her parents even though it was likely difficult for the whole family.
If possible, avoid common phrases. How? First, write a draft describing your story exactly as it happened. Focus on getting all the details on the page (the more, the better). Then, think about what’s essential to the story, and then try to describe the big challenges and transitions in an unexpected way. Challenge yourself to find unique words and phrases that are specific to your life. Some examples from this essay:
Instead of:
“I grew up speaking Hindi”
The author writes:
“I greet people with नमस्कार (namaste).”
Instead of:
“Then, I came to America and learned English.
The author writes:
“Hello has replaced नमस्कार.”
Be creative. The structure of this response is one of its great strengths. Each moment in time packs a lot of detail into a short space, the writer takes us through her journey with vivid imagery and detail, and she does this all by, essentially, using bullet points. This response jumps out from the screen because of its visual organization, and that draws the reader in. To clarify, you definitely don’t have to emulate this structure—but explore getting a little creative while maintaining clarity.
How to Write the Dartmouth Supplemental Essay #3
- What excites you?
- Labor leader and civil rights activist Dolores Huerta recommended a life of purpose. "We must use our lives to make the world a better place to live, not just to acquire things," she said. "That is what we are put on the earth for." In what ways do you hope to make—or are you making—an impact? Why? How?
- Dr. Seuss, aka Theodor Geisel of Dartmouth's Class of 1925, wrote, "Think and wonder. Wonder and think." What do you wonder and think about? As you wonder and think, what’s on your mind?
- Celebrate your nerdy side.
- “It’s not easy being green…” was the frequent refrain of Kermit the Frog. How has difference been a part of your life, and how have you embraced it as part of your identity and outlook?
- As noted in the College’s mission statement, “Dartmouth educates the most promising students and prepares them for a lifetime of learning and of responsible leadership…” Promise and potential are important aspects of the assessment of any college application, but they can be elusive qualities to capture. Highlight your potential and promise for us; what would you like us to know about you?
Quick tip: You can probably recycle this essay for another school’s supplemental essay, or vice versa (tweak something you’re writing for another school for this prompt). If you already have a list of your essay prompts for the other schools you’re applying to, consider writing a Super Essay and use it for both.
Here are some quick tips for each prompt:
Prompt #1: What excites you? This prompt is an open request for you to talk about your interests, but remember to bring it back to yourself and your values. To brainstorm ideas, take 2 minutes to play the “I Love” Game. That should give you a menu of ideas. Pro Tip: this could also be a great chance to write a mini “Why Major?” essay.
Prompt #2: In what ways do you hope to make—or are you making—an impact? This can be a future-focused essay in that it doesn’t really rely on Something Important You’ve Done. But it also tends to be easier to write effectively about concrete actions you’ve already taken. If you’re worried that you haven’t done a ton of stuff worth writing about, this might be a good one to consider.
Prompt #3: What do you wonder and think about? Curious about internet slang? Wondering where Suzan-Lori Parks drew her inspiration for Topdog/Underdog? Here’s your chance to write about it. Check out the example below for more tips on this prompt.
Prompt #4: Celebrate your nerdy side. Oh, how we love this prompt. Not only do you get to proclaim your nerdiness, you also get to define what being a nerd even means. Be creative here! Super into coelacanths? Borderline encyclopedic knowledge of baseball analytics? Do you completely geek out when you get an actual letter in the mail? Great! Tell them so and then tell them why it’s so awesome, and what it is about, for example, the physical sensation plus the history of physical mail that captivates you. Just make sure to both explain what makes you a nerd (as in, define your terms) and why it’s so amazing that you’re a nerd in this specific way (that’s the “celebrate” part of this prompt). Go forth and write, fellow nerds!
Prompt #5: How have you embraced differences as part of your identity and outlook? In a prompt like this, it’s really important to unpack the language they use. Dartmouth isn’t just asking you about “difference” (although that’s part of it); they also want to know how you’ve EMBRACED difference. This is not the same as “accepting” differences, so when answering this prompt, remember to show that you value differences… not just that you tolerate them (in yourself and others).
Prompt #6: Highlight your potential and promise for us; what would you like us to know about you? This is a big, broad prompt, which is actually great because it lets you determine how you want to shape your response. In asking this question of you, Dartmouth wants to know what you’ll bring to their school community. “Potential” and “promise” are forward-thinking words, so zero in on the path you see ahead of you (at Dartmouth). How do you want to engage? What haven’t you done that you still want to do? What are you curious about that you want to explore in your classes? What is the huge intellectual question that has yet to be answered and that YOU want to find the answer to?
Here’s a great example essay:
Prompt #2:
Labor leader and civil rights activist Dolores Huerta recommended a life of purpose. "We must use our lives to make the world a better place to live, not just to acquire things," she said. "That is what we are put on the earth for." In what ways do you hope to make—or are you making—an impact?
While I lived in Mexico, my dad’s security system could not protect our restaurant from robbers, who would steal anything from cash to the shrimp from our freezer. After the sixth robbery that year, I began experimenting with our security system. It turned out the devices were utterly unusable: the cameras would disconnect, the sensors would malfunction overnight, and the alarms wouldn’t contact the police. I wondered how we could improve that system.
That’s when my interest in engineering was born.
I want to design a multitasking, roof-crawling, autonomous device capable of sensing, recording, and reporting potential criminal activity. But to develop the necessary skills and knowledge, I’ll need Dartmouth’s help.
At Dartmouth, I look forward to a modified major in the Thayer School of Engineering that teaches both Psychology and Engineering/Computer Sciences.
Thieves are often able to outthink security systems because they research their target prior to attack, so exploring cognition through courses like “Psychology and Organizations” will help me create a system ready for the most creative minds.
In addition, I am interested in Professor Charles Sullivan’s research on “Microfabricated magnetic components using nanomaterials,” and Professor Eric Fossum’s research on “Advanced image sensors and camera systems.” Miniaturizing the components of a robot and utilizing next-generation camera technology together can revolutionize the ways that security devices monitor and record.
Finally, having been raised in three distinct cultural worlds, I seek to promote diversity wherever I go, and I’m looking forward to sharing part of my Mexican heritage with other Latinx students by joining La Alianza Latina.
Coming from a family that has been committed to intensive manual labor, I pioneer the era of modern technology. With a Dartmouth education, I contemplate the possibility of upgrading the security of our small restaurant and perhaps, one day, national security.
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Tips + Analysis:
Consider using this simple, three-part structure: the challenge, what you’ve done (or hope to do) about it, and how Dartmouth can help. Even though this prompt asks you to discuss how you will make or are making an impact, admission readers really want to know about you and how you’ll use your education. State the problem succinctly, say why it matters to you personally (if you can), then spend the rest of the essay showing how you’ve tackled it (or will tackle it) and what specific resources you’ll make use of.
Consider hooking the reader (briefly) before revealing your specific topic. This student starts off with “robbers, who would steal anything from cash to the shrimp from our freezer,” creating a compelling story line and urging the reader to continue reading to learn more. This is much more interesting than if he’d started with the thesis, “I want to create advanced image sensors and camera systems to prevent robberies at my dad’s restaurant.”
Option to approach the second half like a “Why us?” essay. If you add “Why us?” details (which can be a great idea), get super duper specific with what opportunities you’ll make use of at Dartmouth. Imagine yourself at Dartmouth and paint that picture for the admission reader. Include professors you’re interested in working with and classes you’re dying to take. By letting us know that Dartmouth has a modified major in the Thayer School of Engineering that teaches both Psychology and Engineering/Computer Sciences and classes like Psychology and Organizations to help him get into the heads of thieves, it’s clear that this student has really done his research. For more on how to do this, click here for the complete guide.
Here’s one more great example:
Prompt #3:
Dr. Seuss, aka Theodor Geisel of Dartmouth's Class of 1925, wrote, "Think and wonder. Wonder and think." As you wonder and think, what’s on your mind?
“I don’t get it.”
I glance over at my sister. We are at the Metropolitan Museum of Art looking at Composition, my favorite piece by Piet Mondrian. Tracing the dark lines, we watch as they meet at vertices to form rectangles. “It’s math,” I reply. “No pun intended, but that’s the point.”
If we had not been in a crowded museum, I would have told her that one of the first things we are taught in algebra is how to graph a line on a coordinate plane. That Y=MX+B governs us until we learn Y=ax^2+bx+c. I would have explained how we are reminded, time and time again, of the importance of graphical analysis; like the paintings of Mondrian, though not as gracefully, our lines come together to form shapes. Geometry then teaches us of right angles, the foundation of both structure and society. Calculus asks us to retrieve data from the lines we had graphed when we first learned. Forming an Eulerian cycle, our mathematical world follows a path, hitting off each edge and meeting back at the same vertex.
I was not a math person until I stumbled upon the works of Matt Parker and Noson S. Yanofsky. Staying up late into the night, flashlight in hand, sister reminding me to get some sleep, I was introduced to a world of numbers beyond what I’d been taught in school. I began to see mathematical concepts for their beauty, recognizing their influence in art and philosophy, even pushing myself to try Coursera courses in coding after Parker’s references to logic gates. Besides being the bane of schoolchildren everywhere (and perhaps my family at the dinner table), graph theory underlies the methods with which we perceive our universe — both literally and figuratively, the possibilities are limitless.
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Tips + Analysis:
Consider using “geeky” language. This writer shows us that she knows her math and catches the reader’s tired eyes with: “That Y=MX+B governs us until we learn Y=ax^2+bx+c.” Don’t be shy about doing the same. But do it within reason, because overdoing it may alienate your reader.
Tell us what you’ve done outside class. Push yourself to go beyond what’s offered at school and show that off (humbly) in your essay. For many, high school sucked. This student tells us about her late-night internet discoveries (Matt Parker, a literal “Standup Mathematician,” and Noson S. Yanofsky, a college-level math prof who writes college-level stuff for the advanced and curious HS students). But then she goes further, taking “Coursera courses in coding after Parker’s references to logic gates.” What do you learn about outside of school? Surprise us. Haven’t explored much outside class? There’s still time! (Probably.)
Try to make uncommon connections. Art + math = uncommon connection. We don’t expect a moment at the MET to turn into an ode to math. But it does, and that’s what makes this essay great. How do you do this? Take a look at this values list and ask yourself: What’s something the reader would not expect me to say?
Here’s another example that could probably work for a few of the prompts above, especially prompts 1 and 3 (and probably 4).
Example:
I can always spot a mushroom. Once, driving through the streets of Boston, a clump of white mushrooms a hundred feet away caught my eye. I parked and ran back to the fungi to make sure they were well-documented with an impromptu photoshoot.
Seeing mushrooms explode over a day or two, I am amazed by their resilience and adaptability. They can pop up almost anywhere, from desert to beach to forest. There is no one to cultivate them or prepare for their arrival, yet they still come in multitudes, completely self-sufficient.
I keep photo albums of the mushrooms I find on various trips; my best is from an expansive garden in rural Georgia. Straying away from the paths and into the forested areas blanketed with moss, I found mushrooms that looked like exploded pumpkins, hunks of steak, tiny alien tendrils tipped in red, a small boulder, and ones that could have been illustrations in a storybook. Their abundance and variety were astounding.
Not only do mushrooms have diversity in appearance, but in function as well. Food, pest, hallucinogen, building material, medicine—all in the same kingdom. When I stumble across a mushroom in the wild, I may not know its specific purpose, but knowing that it has some mysterious use stimulates my curiosity like nothing else.
Mushrooms are the first thing I look for when I’m somewhere new, and the last thing I reflect on over and over in my camera roll. I want to emulate the qualities of mushrooms—resilience, adaptability, intention, and purpose. I can’t wait to see what mushrooms live at Dartmouth. (263 words)
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Tips + Analysis:
Be unconventional. A few of the prompts above give you the option to explore how you experience “wonder,” so let your mind WANDER as you think about ways to answer this question. Who knew a few paragraphs about mushrooms could be so engaging? But they ARE, because they’re unexpected. This writer lets us know they’re a photographer and an adventurer and a careful observer, just by telling us about mushrooms.
Use those metaphors. By comparing mushrooms to pumpkins, steaks, and aliens, this writer gives us a glimpse into how their mind works, into how they THINK. And that’s precisely what a few of these prompts ask for. It is possible to overdo it with metaphors (you don’t want your reader to have to interpret everything in your response), but a well-written metaphor or two can help paint a picture in unique and effective ways (isn’t it cooler to think about what a steak-like mushroom might look like than to have the reader tell us is it was weird looking?)
Get your values in there. As this short response reaches its conclusion, the writer makes sure to circle back to themselves. They’ve shown how mushrooms are purposeful and flexible, but they don’t stop there (because this response isn’t really just about mushrooms, right?). This writer makes sure to explain why we should care about these mushrooms, and we should care about them because they embody traits the writer wants to emulate.
And here’s a final example that could work nicely for option 1 (or maybe option 4):
My Top 10 (Actual) Superpowers:
10. Able to give anyone a Magical Mystery Tour by playing any song by The Beatles on the piano.
9. Can name every single presidential candidate to run for president in the 2016 primaries. Even Lincoln Chafee before he dropped out.
8. Undefeated at thumb-wrestling (thank you, nine years of clarinet playing).
7. Can differentiate “I want sleep” from “I want dumplings” in Chinese, even though sleep and dumplings are both pronounced “shui jiao”.
6. Ability to appreciate both Star Wars and Star Trek. Sci-fi nerds must stand united, not divided.
5. Able to pitch a tent in the rain at 1 in the morning after it collapsed because I forgot to take down the sunroof that filled with water and brought the tent down. Bonus point: learned from mistake and haven't needed to demonstrate this ability again.
4. Can play the opening to Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue on clarinet. Yes, even the glissando.
3. Able to deliver an impromptu speech at any given time (so long as caffeine level is appropriately high).
2. Thanks to debate, am comfortable explaining the United States’ complicated mess of an immigration system. Bonus point: able to discern real immigration plans from those of carnival barkers declaring a wall must be built.
1. Always stands out in a crowd; ginger hair is a mighty beacon of hope. (228 words)
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Tips + AnalysiS:
Use humor. It’s not easy to incorporate humor into our writing (let’s face it, we all probably think we’re funny and maybe only half of us actually are), but if you can do it well it can make a great addition to an essay. This writer doesn’t take themselves too seriously (for example, the final sentence of the essay), and they strike the perfect conversational tone in this response, but it’s still focused and answers the prompt in clear and direct ways. If you’re naturally sarcastic or if humor is where you’re most comfortable, use THAT superpower to answer this prompt.
One deep thing vs. variety. To clarify, you don’t have to make a list here—you can pick one specific thing and build a strong response from it (several of the above, for example, could make interesting essays on their own). But you can also go wide instead of deep, incorporating variety that helps us see a bunch of sides of you we aren’t getting elsewhere in your application. If you want to take the “wide/variety” approach, probably avoid making 5 out of 10 of these powers about your ability to bake bread from scratch. Are you a baker and also a welder? Cool. Make sure you let your readers know!
Overwrite to underwrite—Make every word count. There are no extra words in this response, no fluff at all. But early drafts were definitely over word count. And that’s a good thing for the writing process: aim for over the word count in early drafts, so you can then cut down to the language that truly does its job. In the essay above, every word serves a purpose and contributes to the overall essay, so let concision guide you as you write. That’s all we have to say about that.
Special thanks to Jessica B. for writing this blog post.
Jessica has a Ph.D in English from the University of Southern California and teaches English at a Los Angeles-area independent school, where she has also been English department chair and a class dean. Sandra Cisneros is her hero, and she loves books, her awesomely-sarcastic family, the beach, cozy sweaters, and more books. Oh, and her sweet pitbull/lab mix named Ruby.
Top values: Curiosity, equity, wonder
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