I’ve Been Pooped on Many Times

I have been pooped on many times. I mean this in the most literal sense possible. I have been pooped on by pigeons and possums, house finches and hawks, egrets and eastern grays.

Much Ado About Nothing

Up on stage, under the glowing spotlight, and in front of the glowering judge, I felt as if nothing could get in my way. As would soon be evident, I was absolutely right.

Movement

For longer than I can remember, I’ve been on the move.

Magic + Science

I believed in magic. At 11, I excitedly swiped through various contents of the Book of Potions, an alternate reality videogame by fictional wizard Zygmunt Budge. The closest person in my life—my grandfather, a Nepalese palm reader—often encouraged me to believe in inconceivable things that could occur in the future, even if there wasn’t a rational explanation for them. So, that’s exactly what I did.

Introversion

Here’s how most conversations used to go for me: Just say something. Now. Wait, nevermind. Now. Come on, just say it! And when I finally gathered enough courage, the conversation was over.

Identity + Entrepreneurship

“AHH!” my classmates screamed in dismay. Their eyes widened looking at the grotesque mutant in front of them. “What is that… creature?” Mrs. Kinsman asked me, a look of disgust on her face.

I Swear I’m Hispanic

For some reason, most people associate “Hispanic” or “Latina” with thick-accent-bearing, huge-family-having, fiery bombshells. With English that easily passes as American and an aversion to anything Spandex, I am the opposite. I am an introvert in a family of three who was born and raised in Argentina.

Queer Identity

Draco Malfoy made me realize I’m gay. It’s about as weird it sounds.

Lessons in Fainting

I tend to faint at the most inopportune times. In fact, it’s made me kinda famous at school.

Zombie Apocalypse

Seeing how we appear to be playing bingo with end-of-the-world scenarios these days, it seems like it’s only a matter of time before we end up with a zombie apocalypse. Luckily, after careful consideration, I’ve realized that I am perfectly positioned to survive one—well, as perfectly positioned to survive as anyone can be.

Obsessive Builder and Problem Solver

Since childhood, I have been an obsessive builder and problem solver. When I was 6, I spent two months digging a hole in my backyard, ruining the grass lawn, determined to make a giant koi pond after watching a show on HGTV.

Lockpicking

“Nothing on 1. 2’s binding—set. No binding on 3, false set on 4. Counter Rotation from #1, similar resistance on 3; set. Something’s overset—relaxing tension—#1 dropped; set. Full core rotation.”