Show Notes
Hey friends and welcome back to the podcast! I’m Tom Campbell, a former admission officer and now a college counselor and content creator here at College Essay Guy. In this episode, I sit down with one real student and talk through the actual, messy work of applying to college — in real time.
That student is Harmony, and I met her backwards: not in person, but through her writing during CEG Live, which are large group essay writing classes Ethan leads every summer for high school students across the US. I was invited to lead a “bonus session” during the program, where I’m tasked with reviewing as many in-progress essays and drafts live on Zoom. Harmony’s was the first one I read, and boy did she set the bar HIGH.
After reading her essay, I had the exact same reaction you’d want any admission officer to have: “dang. I want to meet this person.” And, luckily, she was down to link up on Zoom and introduce the face— and bright light— behind the page.
To give you a taste (pun intended) of what makes harmony special… she answers “what did you do this summer?” with a brief interlude about an app she built that tells you whether the berry you just found on a hike will kill you (she tested it — merely sour), and a watermelon-sweetness experiment involving acoustic resonance. She also writes psychological mysteries at 5 a.m. and bakes a mean sourdough.
Throughout our conversation, we get into how a single community college class finally made computer science click, why not getting into some coveted summer programs turned out to be the best thing for her, and a live, in-the-room workshop of her personal statement — editing on the fly, tech hiccups and all.
Harmony is a current high school senior from the Bay Area. She tends to get carried away by curiosity, turning random questions into projects and occasionally questionable kitchen experiments. She loves quiet mornings, her people, and a good adrenaline rush, whether she is surviving the final lap of a 500 free, competing in Tetris or board games, or always listening to the most extreme of perspectives and stories. One day, she hopes to build technology rooted in human cognition and agricultural tech, and publish novels exploring deep questions of morality and identity, but for now she is just trying to convince her parents to let her grow mushrooms, and that it probably won’t give them food poisoning.
We hope you enjoy.
Play-by-Play
- 2:44 – How is Harmony feeling as she gets started on her college to-do list?
- 3:59 – How did Tom and Harmony meet through a CEG Live essay review, and what was Harmony’s reaction to finding out her essay stood out?
- 7:32 – How did Harmony’s interest in computer science develop?
- 12:44 – Why did not getting into summer programs or internships freshman year push Harmony toward building her own independent projects instead?
- 18:59 – What is Harmony most proud of creating during high school?
- 22:39 – What was it like for Harmony to step into the college process and CEG Live during the summer before senior year?
- 23:38 – How did CEG Live’s exercises help Harmony identify her values and discover the hook for her personal statement?
- 26:14 – How does Harmony’s top three values (second chances, freedom, and authenticity) show up across her essays and experiences?
- 28:37 – How did Harmony’s original topic idea shift from baking and agriculture to the broader theme of systems?
- 35:37 – What stood out to Harmony as she heard her own essay read aloud, and why do live, specific details like Cantonese egg waffles and family games matter?
- 36:03 – How does Tom suggest moving the sentence connecting storytelling and computer science later in the essay to preserve its impact?
- 41:05 – Why did Harmony include the “watermelon acoustic resonance project, and how does it show the human assumptions behind technical work?
- 45:45 – How might condensing the question-asking allow more room for deeper insights into her storytelling and character creation?
- 50:37 – Closing thoughts and what’s next for Harmony’s application
Resources
- College Essay Guy Live
- College Essay Guy’s Personal Statement Resources
- College Essay Guy’s College Application Hub
Tom Campbell (00:08) Hey friends and welcome back to the podcast. I'm Tom Campbell, a former admission officer and now a college counselor and content creator here at College Essay Guy. In this episode, I sit down with one real student and talk through the actual messy work of applying to college in real time. That student is Harmony. And I met her backwards, not in person, but through her writing during CEG Live, which are large group essay sessions that Ethan leads every summer for high school students across the US. I was invited to lead a bonus session during the program where I'm tasked with reviewing as many in-progress essays and drafts as possible on Zoom. And Harmony was the first one that I read, and boy, did she set the bar high. After reading her essay, I had the exact same reaction that you'd want any admission officer to have. Dang, I want to meet this person. And luckily, she was down to link up on Zoom and introduced the face and bright light behind the page. To give you a taste, pun intended, of what makes Harmony so special. She answers, What did you do this summer? with a brief interlude about an app that she built that tells you whether berries you find on your hikes will kill you. She tested it, merely sour, and a watermelon sweetness experiment involving acoustic resonance. She also writes psychological mysteries at 5 a.m. and bakes a mean sourdough. Throughout our conversation, we get into how a single community college class finally made computer science click. Why not getting into some coveted summer programs actually turned out to be the best thing for her? And a live, In the room workshop of her personal statement, editing on the fly, tech hiccups and all. But first, meet Harmony. Harmony is a current high school student who attends a large public high school in the Bay Area. She tends to get carried away by curiosity, turning random questions into projects, and occasionally questionable kitchen experiments. She loves quiet mornings, her people, and a good adrenaline rush. Whether she's surviving the final lap of her 500-free, competing in Tetris or board games, We're always listening to the most extreme of perspectives and stories. One day, she hopes to build technology rooted in human cognition and agricultural tech, and publish novels exploring deep questions of morality and identity. But for now, she's just trying to convince her parents to let her grow mushrooms, and that probably won't give her food poisoning. So whether you're a student, a parent, or a counselor, or a fellow curiosity chaser, stick around to get inspired by this bona fide storyteller, Food for the Soul indeed. We hope you enjoy. All right, Harmony. Welcome to the College essay Guy podcast. After a few little behind-the-scenes connections on our part, how are you feeling today? Harmony (02:44) I'm feeling good, thank you. Tom Campbell (02:47) We just did a little bit of like looking into your lists, at least, Harmony, and like some of the colleges that are on there. But I just want to get a pulse check on how you're feeling about the college to do lists now that you're maybe knowing a little bit more of like what's in store for you work-wise. Harmony (03:01) I'm feeling pretty good. I think I started like relatively early, so I feel like it's probably gonna be okay. There are like a lot more supplemental essays than I probably like thought originally. But I think knowing that a lot of the questions are somewhat repeated feels a lot better so. Tom Campbell (03:21) Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, it definitely catches students off guard in terms of volume. And then you start to kind of look through it and you read through the similar lines of questioning, sometimes even like not exactly verbatim, you know, root repetition of questions around, for example, like an academic interest that's inspired you, or, you know, things you want to solve in the future with your academic interest, then it kind of starts to feel a little less, you know, burdensome. And you can map out and see the vision for, okay. How can I creatively recycle a lot of these stories for the needs of each school? And that's something that we'll get to in the weeks to come for sure. But first, let's just get to know you a little bit more. So we were introduced actually through a live essay review session that we host at College Essay Guy. We do sessions. We've been doing them actually like pretty frequently throughout the summer, just for the public in general. But we've been doing a lot of kind of like exclusive ones, I guess you could say, for Students who are participants in what we call CEG Live, which for those of you who are tuning in and are not familiar with it, CEG Live is a big kind of outreach course that we lead during the summer for schools to be able to sign up their students for free access to multiple weeks of instruction and guidance from Ethan, the college essay guy, on putting together a strong and cohesive standout application. So it's free and available to lots of different schools pay essentially to have. students participate depending on your budget. There's also free and pay what you can options too. So we try to make all these opportunities as access forward as we possibly can. But anyway, that's how I got to know you, Harmony. And I didn't get to know you really from like face-to-face interaction. It was truly through reading your essay, which is kind of like a little, I don't know if I would call it trippy, but a little strange because in admissions, right? Like I'm always saying like you're never reading essays in a vacuum. You're always reading it alongside, you know, the transcript and the letter of recommendation and like All the other pieces that are coming along with your application. But in this exercise, like actually going through and like reading submissions from students on active essays that they want feedback on, I was just really like struck by your story. And I remember going through it and being like, wow, like this is really, really, really like giving the give in terms of like some of the pieces of advice that the course had. So yeah, I don't know, like on your end, when you got the email, at least that I was like, hey, I kind of want to like meet with you and like help. guide you along and like making this a fully realized thing. But like I just kind of wanted to hear from you, like what I don't know, if you were surprised that your work was, I don't know, in my eyes, a very standout piece of writing. Harmony (06:00) Think actually, like, I think it was like the night back I got from like I just got back from a trip and I was like kind of tired, kind of jet-yes. I was like, wait, hold on, am I reading this right? So I like reread, I was like, my god, like this is like this is kind of crazy, right? So then I like because I don't know, writing was never kind of my strong suit. So I really like I didn't really think too much of it, but I told my parents and they were like. Wait, like are you sure like could repeat this again? And then and then so then like I drafted a response and here I am. But Tom Campbell (06:36) Yeah. Yeah. it I mean, I was, yeah, truly it was not like a high hyperbolic moment of like just like gassing someone up. I do try to give compliment sandwiches, of course, when I'm doing those sessions. Cause sometimes I'm like, hey, like I think we need to pivot a lot. But luckily with you, I feel like even like, you know, part of this episode is going to be like comparing and contrasting some of the active drafts that you have in motion that are all kind of like hitting slightly different sides of you and just kind of. know spending some time figuring out, okay, you know, which of these statements, if any, like should be sent to which schools you're applying to, or you know, how might they kind of like ebb and flow to maybe be some kind of like super, you know, morphed essay that takes the best parts of each one. But no, it really did stand out a lot to me. And I'm I'm so glad you were long down to come along with this ride of of going through the process alongside someone from CEG. So happy happy to be doing this with you. One big thing that has come across Cross from our conversations and of course like a lot of reading through a brainstorming work is just your academic interests in general. So I know something that's like a really a big like, you know, guiding light in terms of a lot of the colleges that you're applying to are colleges that have great computer science programs and programs in technology in general, but also that there's this side of you that's really interested in like psychology and storytelling and just knowing what I know from college admissions, I think it's great when students like, yes, have. a technical interest like computer science that they developed. And I want to hear a little bit more from you about how that's kind of come to fruition from your high school life. But also these like that the computer science is like leading towards helping answer questions in other areas that spark curiosity, like psychology, like story sharing. So given that, I'd love to hear a little bit more about, yeah. And if folks on the pod would love to, I know they would love to hear more about how you started to get more, I guess, like centered on the interests that are having biding your high school experience academically. Harmony (08:33) So computer science really started like a community college class I took. But I remember like when I was younger, when I was little, my mom would like send me to computer science summer camps. But I would like I hated them. Like I really didn't want to go to any of them. But so I kind of just stayed away from computer science for a long time. But like a lot of my friends were like, I'm gonna go into computer science. I'm gonna major in it. And I mean, like the world is kind of like revolving around computer science at the time I was a freshman. So I decided To like, I'm like, okay, I'll suck it up. I'll give it one more shot. I'll take a community college class. And I really like the way the professor taught it, it was really just like different than it was taught to me before. Like we started rather than like with just like simple like syntax. We started actually with the kind of history, I guess, it CS and like the hardware and actually understanding like everything behind CS before we started coding. And I think that was kind of when my interest in CS really like took a hold of me. But even then I remember like not like it the moment I really like fell in love with CS, I would say, is probably when I realized like exactly what the projects I could do with it. So rather than just like writing lines of code for like efficiency, I realized I could implement CS into like all of my other interests. Cause I bake sourdough, so I love like nice cooking. Yeah. So CS really allowed me to like look into that a little bit more. So I've like made programs like that take a picture of your fridge and it'll give you recipes to cook based off of what's in your fridge. So that's Tom Campbell (10:17) That is so cool. Way more practical to the everyday person who has a fridge with varying levels of quality ingredients. Harmony (10:25) Yeah. So I was like, 'cause it it really allowed me to like connect my interests. And I was like, well, my parents are always like, what can I make for dinner? you know. So I always thought, well, I might as well just make this. And that was kind of the moment that like CS really became more than just like something I thought, this is cool to something like I know I want to pursue this. And yeah. And it's over time it's gotten me into like other fields, including psychology. And storytelling and I've it's really kind of allowed me to connect everything that I love. Tom Campbell (10:59) I love that. And I I I I don't actually think I knew about the fridge app until right now. I don't it may have been a part of your brainstorming that I skimmed over. But that I think like is such a cool practical use of this skill. And any way to perfect sourdough recipe using some assistance is well received because I know it is not for the faint of heart. My mom like kind of was like experimenting with hers for like literally a year. It was just like so many batches of like, it's like I couldn't get the dough right. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tricky one. So good for you. How long would you say it took for you to get like get yours down like with the oven temperature and like all the particularities? Harmony (11:39) I don't even like even now, I don't think I would say I've gotten it like down like perfectly. Cause I mean, of course, like the temperature and the humidity will change. So you have to kind of adjust to it and you kind of just have to know what like based off of feel, I think. But like even the sourdough starter took me a while because like I think it took me three attempts. And my parents were like really concerned because sourdough starter at first it smells like it smells really bad because it has to fight with bad bacteria. And my parents just like Are you sure like this is like kind of like a goopy thing that we have in our fridge? Are we sure like we can eat this? So it took me three attempts to really like get the sourdough starter like good. And then I've actually like I s sold a few loaves to my friends. So I've like wanna go more into that, but I kind of took a step back because I want to make sure like my bread is like perfect. It has like more or well, we call it like a softer crumb. So yeah. I wanna make sure it's more like oven spring before I actually go back into like selling bread again, so Tom Campbell (12:44) Well, one step at a time. I know you have a lot of a lot of things under the burners. Yeah. Literally and metaphorically that you're like cooking up. On that vein, I know, you know, Because just hearing about kind of like, you know, we all can think back to like I think a lot of those teachers that have been like real catalysts for us, like seeing the possibilities of a particular subject. And I loved hearing from you a little bit about how he shared with you about like some of history of pioneers in computer science and like How languages are named after certain people and what that actually means in terms of why they're called what they're called, right? There's a meaning behind it. So I loved hearing that layer about your story and how he came in and was, you know, showed you kind of like the path ahead when maybe you didn't see as much of a path forward with previous camps and learning environments that, you know, sometimes it just takes a special person and a way of introducing, you know, for you at least with stories. Maybe this was the first time that like it was stories that were being presented in your education with CS. As opposed to, like you said, like the technical aspects and sometimes just taking the time to like invest in learning the back story to something and the origin and that context. I mean, that's really why college applications are structured the way that they are. There's a lot of questions that are designed to like tell us about an experience or reflect on a time when, you know, this spark unleashed in you. And it is very revealing to someone on the other end when you have that link there. But beyond classes, I know you've also like a lot of your extracurriculars, you know, have been ways that you've explored this interest and other interests really full force, baking, not, you know, also included. So thinking about time outside of the classroom in school, like what are some of the things that you'd say like you're the most proud of in terms of spending your time? And maybe, you know, are you surprised with how your extracurricular life has evolved over the past three and a half or so years? Would love to hear a little bit more about that. Harmony (14:31) When I started high school and freshman year, I really like I guess I felt pressure in a way to like try to find summer internships, summer programs. 'Cause I mean, I come from the Bay Area, so it's like a really competitive environment. Like a lot of people are like, I want to go to like summer programs this, summer internships that And I remember I applied to a couple in freshman year, but I didn't really I didn't get into any of them and I was like, well, like that's kind of a shame. But Tom Campbell (15:01) Feel good. Harmony (15:02) Yeah. I was like, well, like what else can I do with my summer? So I like I feel like when you apply to summer programs, summer internships, not a lot of it is really in your control. I mean, there's so many other people out there with like so many apa amazing skills. But I thought, well, like if I don't get accepted by like those programs, I might as well like start on individual projects and have like I guess build my resume in a way, but also like work on like the interests that I have and learn more about them. So I've done like online courses in a way. A lot of it is just like reading through some documents. And I love like watching kind of stories, I guess, online. There's like a few YouTube channels that I always go back to. But like it talks a lot about like stories that you probably wouldn't have heard otherwise. Like there's one with like a plane crash and where like they were kind of survivor experiences and where they were actually like forced to eat the like dead remains of Tom Campbell (16:03) I remember reading about this actually somewhere in your I think it was in your college essay guy workbook from CEG Live, you had like said like I have this curiosity and fascination for like unsolved mystery or not unsolved mysteries, but like extremes. Like people like living through extremes. Harmony (16:19) And I I just I think it's so interesting because you rarely ever get to hear those perspectives in a lot of ways. And I guess that really like I write a lot, so I'm currently like I want to finish my novel hopefully like by the end of this year. But it's kind of like it's about a girl and she killed her own parents, but she has like like about her memory and she kind of pushes that away. And I think a lot of these stories kind of inspire what I want to write about. And also more than that, inspires like what I want to build technology about. Cause I think currently, like a lot of times like there's there's people in mental institutions and we kind of just like throw like we don't think much about it. But I think like there's a lot of ways that technology could really like help with that. Like maybe like allowing them to kind of have like more of a second chance. So that's some of the stuff that like I've looked into during summer. And of course, like I've built other like computer science applications that like relate to my like own daily life where I'm just like the fridge app, of course. And then there's also like I go hiking a lot and I like to look into like different plants and like I want it a lot of times I'm like hungry when I'm going hiking. I'm like, can I eat this plant? Like Tom Campbell (17:39) I love that. Harmony (17:40) I've built something where like you can take a picture of it and it'll tell you like if you can eat it and like how to prepare it even. So that to me has been like it was like I can just run around when I'm hiking and like take pictures of different plants. But yeah. I think I tried eating like a berry once. It was it was really sour. So yeah. But like at least I knew Tom Campbell (18:04) risking you're like I really hope I like coded this right because there's some dangerous things out there in nature. Harmony (18:11) Yeah. But that was really fun. So like during summer, that's kind of a lot more what I've done and like that's kind of my extra cur curricular activities. So I think looking back now, I would have been pretty surprised because I don't I haven't done any summer programs, summer internships actually. But I think I spend a lot of my summer kind of just like doing individual projects and kind of I have another project on like watermelon sweetness and like I'm trying to I probably want to I'm gonna like further that and probably do more research on it. So I think I would have been like really surprised by what I do now. Cause I don't think I would say like I don't because I I know a lot of people go to summer programs. I don't do that as much and I kind of develop more programs on the side by myself. And I guess like one more thing. I I know I've gone on a lot, but Tom Campbell (19:03) This is good. Harmony (19:05) one more thing I like I think. The thing I'm most proud of is probably the mentorship program I've created. We're probably going to implement it more next year. And I guess like kind of leaving some sort of legacy in my community, like you were talking about before. So I think that's like a way for me to really leave my mark. Cause when I first came into high school, there's like a lot of feeder middle school. So basically most people knew everyone there. So it's kind of like it's hard to like. Find your group, find your people that you know. I was lucky because I have sports. So like I was able to find my like community pretty fast. But I know like a lot of other people out there, like they spend a while alone. And a lot of my friends actually, not many of them came from the feeder middle school. Like some moved from like international places like Puerto Rico, Japan, et cetera. So I think looking back on that, I was like, well, I want to create something that. can help people who kind of don't come from like the typical feeder middle school and like ha allow their adjustment into high school to feel like a lot more comfortable. So I think that's probably what I'm most proud of. Tom Campbell (20:17) Yeah, I I think that's I I think what you're describing. I mean, just like your your response the past few minutes has been like, I feel like a real it I don't know, like it like it, it it it really captures the spirit of that like admission nutrient of leadership and initiative. And I think it also like debunks a lot of like some misconceptions that I think a lot of students have around the college process, which is like, it can be very You know, the phrase that we use is keeping up with the Joneses, where it's like, everyone's applying to like this program and this, you know, math competition or this or that. So I feel like I have to do that. Otherwise, like, who am I? Right. There's like a crisis of identity there. But I'm I'm seeing kind of like you're, you know, leaning in chasing after curiosity instead of necessarily like chasing titles or kind of accolades and having, you know, that experience early on to maybe help like redirect you towards, okay, well. I went and tried for kind of like the standard fare in the menu of what's around me in my community. And the flavors were not flavoring, right? I w would rather have watermelon. I would rather have random berries that I'm finding on my heights and whether wondering whether or not I can actually eat them. And it's funny, I'm watching Little House in the Prairie right now on Netflix. And I'm like, they would have really if you if your app was available then 150 years ago, I think a lot of lives could have been saved from eating random things in the Kansas planes. Anyway, I'm like really loving what you're sharing out to listeners here. And I think giving lots of students, you know, who are in this process some permission to be like, hey, I know it can feel tempting to want to, you know, go with the flow that is around you because it feels safe or comfortable or it feels like, you know, there's more security with it, perhaps. But I'm really loving what I'm hearing about you. Yeah, kind of like having this experience early on to help. you realize that like, no, you you can be your own, you can be your own summer program. Yeah. And you can be your or just summer, it can be different all all year round. It doesn't just have to be relegated to a season. So I think that's really, really beautiful. And I'm so glad it's like coming to life in your application so nicely. So thinking about kind of translating right, like a lot of these experiences that have shaped your high school life, the leadership and initiative, the service to others with the mentorship program. That's another, you know, admission nutrient that I'm hearing just from These anecdotes alone, and you have so many more to choose from, too. Obviously, curiosity. We really started off, I'd say, like front and center with that. But wanted to hear a little bit more about kind of like, okay. So as you're wrapped, you know, started to like wrap up your junior year of high school, obviously the college process and like translating, you know, three plus years of high school life into a college application that you've been told everyone reads in 10 to 15 minutes. So you're like, like. This is a lot of material to condense into a very few words. Wanted to hear from you, like stepping into the College SA Guy Live program, like during the summer, what your head was like with the college process and like list building and like all the elements that come with it. And how maybe the program I'm hoping like gave you a little bit more like direction or clarity or ease in terms of what you really want to showcase or share with someone on the other end who you may or may not ever meet. So yeah, what was that like stepping into that part in your timeline? The actual like, okay, switching from high school life to like college applicant life and entering that phase. Harmony (23:38) So I mean, like going into the podcast, like I had an idea like our school did, of course, like they had like events and like meetings online, but there wasn't really much about like I guess essay like brainstorming ideas for the essay. It was more about like, PIQs want more of like a direct approach versus like how many words and like keeping track of making sure like you don't have too many essays to write and not procrastinating on it. But there wasn't as much, I guess, ideating. So I think like CAG Live really helped me because there was like a lot of good exercises. I remember like kind of really specified specifying exactly which values I want to put on my essays and like showing which parts of myself that I want to like show other people. And also like I think being able to condense it was both like easy and hard at the same time. Cause like When I write, a lot of it is more like minimalistic. Like I try to like bring it back down. But I think I also have a lot of sides to myself, I guess, that I wanted to show in my essays. So being able to kind of just figure out exactly like what I wanted. And like I get I think the traits were like showing specific traits and showing specific identities was very helpful to me. And from that I kind of was able to okay. So I want to show this about myself. So like what kind of part of like my resume or like activities list do I want to use to show this part of myself? And from there it was kind of like drafting my essay. But actually like the big the first, like the hook I guess of my essay is actually from like a short story I was writing. So it's actually Yeah. So it wasn't really intended, I guess, at first to be used for college essays, but I was like I was reading through it and I was like, this could be this could be a really good hook. So and I think it shows a lot of like perspective and like a lot of ident a lot of my like identities. Tom Campbell (25:52) Yeah. I think I mean the values exercise. I know it's like college essay guy like tried and drew, like it's in the canon of like exercises. We we keep developing new ones, you know, every cycle. Like admission nutrients is a little newer. It's been the past like two, three years we've been using those as like these are values that we know for sure. Colleges like have explicitly said that they appreciate seeing evidence of in students. But I like you going forward and doing the values exercise on your own terms first because. Yeah, you can calibrate an application and like admission nutrient the heck out of it, like if you wanted to, but like that loses a little bit of kind of like the way that you come to explore some of those qualities or kind of like your own spin on them. Or I think it when every application is like kind of just talking about the same things, like you lose a little bit of that individual identity piece that's so that's what these, you know, essays can really help reveal. And funny enough, I just looked at your brainstorming exercises and you're Top three values were second chances, freedom and authenticity. And I feel like on this podcast, you've already kind of like organically woven those into your responses, right? Like second chances, like not getting, you know, into some of those programs early on, but like the second chance of kind of like getting up and like not letting that hold you down or you know, have that be something that like lessens your self-worth. Freedom to go and explore and like lean into, you know. developing apps with your fridge or hiking that like you just saw an opportunity and you went for it. And to me, that feels very much like leaning into living a free life and exploring things because you want to explore them, not because someone's telling you to. And then that also I feel like really aligns with authenticity as well of kind of just like doing the things that you enjoy the most because you enjoy them and you see the value in it. And so I love that like the values are kind of like already surfacing. And hopefully the exercise, just like ex explicitly like mentioning them and like filtering out, you know, from 50 down to your top three or whatnot. I think that can really help refine that vision. Yeah. When you came in, did you have an idea of something that you wanted to? I know you mentioned like the opening like line and/or slash scene of your essay comes from your short stories or like, and I think you said you're working on a novel too, that you wanna yeah. So that is actually kind of like I'd say like a real. I don't know, like divine intervention or something in your writing process because oftentimes the hook and like the opening scene is what holds a lot of people back in terms of progress. Like they won't start with the rest of the essay because they're like, Well, I need the opening scene. So I think it's really great that like your own writing kind of all came up here. Did you have a sense of like what you wanted to write about before doing the program? Or was it kind of like, let's just dive in and go about this very freely and authentically? Harmony (28:37) I think actually I wanted to write more about like baking and agriculture initially because that was like a big part of myself. But I think like during the CG Live, like the during the workshop, I think I really discovered that actually psychology is like probably an even bigger part of myself. And it kind of feeds into agriculture a little bit. Like I think through throughout the workshop, I was I really like was able to kind of figure out like that psychology is actually like systems, I guess, is more of like what I want to focus on rather than just specifically like baking or like computer science or whatnot. But like systems in terms in like I guess in terms of like computer science, there's systems like AI systems and then in terms of psychology, there's like How the brain works, that's a system in and of itself. And like of course with sourdough, like it's a whole ecosystem in a way. So I think to me that really shown through sh shone, shown through. Tom Campbell (29:44) Shine, Sean. Harmony (29:46) In the s in the workshop and like through drafting my essay. Tom Campbell (29:51) Awesome. Yeah. Well, I d maybe would you mind if I took read through the statement that you have? Harmony (29:58) Yeah. Tom Campbell (29:59) Okay. We'll go ahead and read it and like reflect on, you know, this in its current state. Because this is version one. There's also another version that was just revealed. And there's a first draft too. That was the first thing that I read. So lots of drafts and pros and cons to all of them, which is kind of like I think a hard part of this process is like what parts do you keep and highlight and how like what ratio of words do you dedicate? To certain spotlighting certain things and should it be your personal statement or other things? Yeah, lots of questions that we'll get to as we as we go along. But we'll start first thing first with your personal statement and its current draft and and what it's revealing about you. Okay. actually, would you like to read it? I don't know. It might might come more powerfully if you do. Harmony (30:39) I can read it, yeah. Tom Campbell (30:40) Okay, we'll have you read it. Harmony (30:42) Haunted by last week's murder, I chase shadows across my screen, redraw the crime scene, and reconstruct memories until sunlight slips through my window. At 5 a.m., I press enter on the final line of another chapter. I'm rarely just solving a fictional case. I'm testing a system. Every character enters a world with rules. What they've been taught, what they fear, what information they possess, and what choices seem possible to them. Change one variable and the entire story shifts. That's what draws me to both storytelling and computer science. In each, I am able to constru I construct a world, observe how its parts interact, and keep revising until I understand why the outcome occurred. Nick's was the first character who made that connection visible to me. In my psychological mystery, she commits an act that should make her easy to condemn. However, she was raised to understand reality through the rules of a board game, believing death was temporary and people could simply respawn. Her childhood is strange, but I built it from ordinary pieces that remind me of my own. Cantonese, egg waffles, family games, birthday cakes, and unquestioning and the unquestioning tr trust children place in the worlds adults create for them. Writing her transformed the mystery. I was no longer asking only who committed the crime. I want to know what creates an evil person. Is someone defined by their worst action? How much does an environment determine morality? Can a person change after finally understanding the harm she's caused? Those questions led me towards psychology, but they also changed how I viewed computer science. When I first learned to program, I focused on correctness. Did the code compile? Did the function return the expected value? Could I reduce the number of errors? Eventually I realized that a technically correct system could still misunderstand the world it was built to serve. That realization followed me into my projects. While researching whether acoustic resonance could reveal fruit quality, I recorded the sounds of tapped watermelons, analyzed their frequency using pad patterns using analyzed their frequency patterns using fast barrier transform. And investigated how density, shape, and internal structure affected resonance. The code could identify patterns, but first I had to decide what those patterns meant. Was quality sweetness, ripeness, texture, or something else? Every technical decision contained a human assumption. I encountered the same challenge while building websites, apps, and automation systems. A program could function perfectly and still fail if I misunderstood the person who was using it. While designing tools, I had to think beyond whether the code worked. Who would use this? What problem were they actually experiencing? What assumptions had I built into the system without realizing? Code became less about demonstrating what I could create and more about understanding the people those creations were meant to serve. My characters taught me that lesson too. Riley, a hockey player in another novel, hides discipline behind awkward jokes. She appears unserious, yet she waits before sunrise to chain to train. Studies for scholarships and repeats drills until her mistakes disappear. I recognized my own contradictions in her. Laughing when I'm nervous, then returning home to rewrite math problems, debug programs, or revise chapters long after they technically work. Annabelle, a performer who disguises herself as a man, taught me to pay attention To smaller details, a repeatedly falling hairpin becomes the detail through which another's character recognizes what she's hiding. Through her, I became interested in the gap between the data a system can capture and the person that data may fail to explain. That gap is what draws me towards artificial intelligence and computer science. I want to understand how models reach conclusions, where their assumptions enter, and how their outputs affect people who may not resemble the data used to build them. I do not want AI to remain a black box that produces impressive answers. I want to study the mechanisms behind those answers and design systems that remain attentive to the humans inside them. At 5 a.m., I still chase fictional suspects and rearrange clues until the pieces connect. Later I might be trying tracing a bug, examining a frequet frequency spectrum, or mapping the decision inside a model. The medium changes, but the instinct does not. I write stories and build systems for the same reason, to understand how individual pieces create a hole, and what happens when the whole fails to understand the people within it. Tom Campbell (35:31) How does it feel like reading it out loud in that I don't know in that setting? I I don't know if you have done that before. Harmony (35:37) Yeah, I think I don't know like I don't know if you noticed, but like there's this one part where I like wanted to add like for the I built from ordinary pieces, I want to say that remind me like of my own childhood because I think that like helped me relate it better to like me. And I think like as I was reading it, I noticed things that like I could possibly change to like just small details, but I think like they would change like the essay. Tom Campbell (36:03) Yeah, it was so funny like seeing that happening live. And I was like, people on the podcast, they're just gonna be listening along, but like are not seeing the behind the scenes like her live reading and then typing at the same time while reading. It was very impressive, I will say. But I love that you like capitalized on the moment and we're like, this is like something I want to really further root in my own context and background and life and origin story. And I it was actually feedback that I Would would have offered to you as well, just in terms of like making that link between the childhoods of the characters that you write for and how there are parallels to your own that have influenced their characterization through these these wonderful specifics that you have the Cantonese egg waffles, the birthday games, or the family games, the birthday cake. You even were just telling me that you and your family went to, you know, an art show thing this weekend. And so like I feel like it even captures the spirit of that too. Yeah. And I think reading it out loud, just for those of you listening in, is a great way to kind of like catch maybe some opportunities of pivots or sections that you may or may want to condense or elaborate on. So something that I found myself kind of like, and I think this is a slight shift between your previous draft, which is a just to let folks know the previous draft didn't quite have as many of this this beyond beyond Nyx, who's the story that you first introduced in the beginning that. Really, you know, has this kind of, I feel like Nyx is such a great case study of your psychology interest because this is in theory a person who like a lot of people would be like, How could someone do something so horrible? But like, that's why I mean, if you were to like ask Netflix, like what genres are the most popular, I feel like people love a true crime, a psychological thriller, like thinking about why people do the what they do, and then realizing oftentimes that it's a lot of their conditioning. You think about like Gypsy Rose. You know, came to mind like to me as I was hearing about this character. And I think it really speaks to this understanding people lens that you really bring to the table, which, like, you know, there's a lot of stereotypes about people who study, you know, computer science and STEM and things like that. And it's like, they're just like in front of their computer tuning out the outside world and just focusing on like the numbers and whatnot. And I think this really helps, like in some ways, like. combat a what some might say is like an unfortunate bias that exists out there with like typecasting people based on their interest or skill set. And so I feel like this does a really great job, like A, of just showing you, but also really showing how you really under work to understand the human people that this technology is meant to serve and how things can't be one size fits all and what's really good for people in the long run. We were talking a little bit earlier about like dopamine hits with apps and like how A good long-term girl, I think, or or long-term goal that you said with your your education was it was it was like phrased so nicely. I wrote it down. I want to come about combat instant gratification and the decline of like I think I actually interpreted this. The decline in competence in one's own thoughts that like AI is kind of bringing into people. So anyway, with the essay, I actually felt like I personally felt like. The sentence here of like, that's what draws me to both storytelling and computer science, kind of came actually maybe a little early. Because I think that when you reveal it kind of midway through, the person's kind of like really captivated, at least me as a reader, I was really captivated by seeing kind of like the psychology storytelling side, like really front and center at the beginning. And then for you to transition, and it's not that much later, but for you to transition to, This part here that's like those questions led me towards psychology, but they also changed how I view computer science. You're not giving as much of like, I guess, like a backstory to, you know, how you learned about computer science or how you came to like focus in on it as a subject. But as of today, right, we just did a little bit of looking into some of the schools on your list. And there's like a decent amount who have this Y major section. So something that I might recommend, and this is I think good for is like basically like. Revealing the ending too soon or like the insights too soon can sometimes lessen like the oomph of the essay when it is actually happening in real time and you're unfolding and reading through it. So I might actually where was the sentence that you had here? I might actually delete out the sentence personally. Because I think where it's placed a little bit later on, you know, th a third way through the essay and bringing in this computer science lens is really valuable. So how does that feel for you in terms of like a does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. okay. And then another thing that I noticed was this particular section, I think this is different from when the first draft that you read. And I kind of wanted to hear from you like what adding this in, what you were hoping that adding this in like would help accomplish for the reader and like understanding you more comprehensively. Harmony (41:02) I think like like the projects Tom Campbell (41:05) sorry. I'm highlighting I'm realizing I'm like this is a podcast. We have to leave talk about what we're highlighting because we can't see it. It was the project that Harmony introduced about the fruit quality, the watermelon kind of rabbit hole deep dive intellectual curiosity project. Harmony (41:21) I think like starting the paragraph off, I talked about like acoustic resonance, like threw in some like big words. But I think that was kind of just in a way to show how like at first this is kind of what I thought computer science was. It was like a bunch of big fancy words, kind of like efficiency focused. But at the end, I talked more about like was quality, sweetness, ripeness, texture, or something else. It talks about more how, although there are all of these like aspects of computer science that's probably less human in a way. There's also so many aspects of it that are and so many aspects that involve like human decisions and assumption. Tom Campbell (42:04) Yeah. I mean, I think I think especially something that you do so wonderfully is you actually voice out loud the questions that are going through your head when you're encountering or like as you're developing these independent projects and these rabbit holes that you're exploring through research or through, you know, putting together a paper on this topic. So, you know, these questions of was quality in quotes, sweetness, ripeness, texture, or something else. Every technical decision contained a human assumption. I think that that like reiterating this theme of technical decisions and human assumptions in tandem together really helps like that interdisciplinary image that you're crafting for this root for the reader. Something I found myself like wondering about this anecdote, though, was like we were just looking at you know some of the other schools that are on your list, like MIT, Caltech, I think Carnegie Mellon. There's a few other ones that have essays along the lines of like, you know, talk about, I think. Caltech in particular, right? They have that like, you know, tell us about a meaningful STEM-related experience from the last few years and how it and how and why it inspired your curiosity. This is kind of one of those sections of your essay that I kind of felt like could maybe be used in other essays as a kind of like, here's a real-time case study that has like solidified this, you know, interplay and relationship between human assumptions, technical decisions. it I feel like it could kind of like really open up that story really nicely. So this might be something that as you embrace draft two, part of me wonders if because I think and I, you know, I I don't want to like put words in your mouth, but the more kind of like characters you introduce and elements that you introduce, the harder it is for kind of each one to have its like own time in the sun. So I was wondering in that vein, compared to the first draft, there's a few new stories in here, right? We have, and that was an initial piece of feedback was like, Could there be ways that you could connect other stories like in characters of yours to things that you've done in your own life and how like the characterization of these characters actually manifests in parts of who you are, which I think is a real great like setup that you have in the essay early on. So part of me wonders if like if you were to remove this and then maybe have these lessons from the characters kind of be more anchors in the story, if the personal statement at least, it might allow for you might still be able to kind of like put forward this like. intellectual curiosity window, which I feel like is like in terms of the grand purpose of what this is serving, that seems to really be, this seems to really be like a real gem of like an example for that. But part of me wonders, is there a way to kind of like, you know, for instance, this I found this paragraph about Annabelle, like it starts off like really intriguing with the, you know, she disguises herself as a man. It t teaches me to pay attention to smaller signals. I wonder if the is there a way to kind of like mention a project Here instead, that kind of serves the purpose of this watermelon one, but allows it to be tied to something that's already being baked into your essay now. Do you see maybe something that could fit in here for that? Harmony (45:09) I think like I guess in a way, not taking things at surface level, you could like see. I I guess I could like relate the watermelon to it. Cause like Annabelle like pr disguises herself as a man, but like internally she's a lot more than like what she shows on the surface, I guess. And in the way like the fruits kind of because I use like acoustic, like so you could hear the sound of the in like internal structures of the fruit. rather than just like the external appearance of the fruit. So I feel like I could relate that kind of into it in a way. Tom Campbell (45:45) So if you were to, you know, you have this early on, you have the kind of like setting the characterization in the story up about NYX. And if you were with these, you know, the questions that are related to understanding Nix that people would have to wrestle with, like, you know, is someone defined by her worst action? How does environment determine morality? That sets up, I think, like the kind of like precedent of Understanding there you have a line for it. If you were to say basically kind of like when you start off the kind of like twists, you know, about a third way through your essay, let's see how many words it actually is. So before you get to the statement where you say, those questions led me towards psychology, but they also changed how I view computer science. You're sharing the story of NYX, and this is taking 250 words. So actually, in a way, like it's a little bit more than a third way through. So if you were to maybe condense slightly the next story, it would allow you maybe to kind of have an even spread between some of the others. But what I'm seeing here is an opportunity to maybe say, like, you know, you have this about, yeah, 250 words in, you have a sentence that kind of shifts from psychology to computer science, where you say, those questions led me towards psychology, the questions about mix. But they also changed how I view computer science. That's now kind of entering this into the fold. So I wonder if like, you know, you have the statement when I First learn to program, I focus on correctness. Do the code compile? Did the function return the affected value? For this one, maybe you could choose two questions just for the sake of word count. So this is a lesson to anyone, you know, who's tuning in is sometimes if you're able to get the same point across in your listing off, for example, you know, you're listing off three examples. Maybe instead, for some of them, you choose two that are the most like contrasting or kind of like most revealing, and you go with that. So that way the reader gets. The idea of what you're saying, but you gain back some words that can be really valuable at like helping give some other things some more time in the sun. So for this part, I would say something like, you know, maybe choose two set up three. And you say, I realize eventually I realized that a technical technically correct system could still misunderstand the world it was built to serve. If you were to kind of delete out this example and then you were to kind of go back to some of these questions, I might again condense the questions just a little bit because. I think there's a little bit of like repetition and overlap in terms of the vein of the questions and what they're gathering. So you'll gain back a few words to yeah, for your story if you choose to condense. So if you were to say like I feel like this transition sentence is one that, like, if you were to kind of like have it be a little bit more along the lines of instead of just my characters taught me that lessons too, you could say like, and alongside you like each project. I realized that the characters. So something like this would allow kind of like you can have the kind of like more general, like, I'm and the person reading this as an application reader, they'll like have just come from your resume and from your, you know, rec letters, most likely. Every school reads applications a little differently. But generally, when they're arriving to your personal statement, they're kind of already arriving with somewhat of a clear sense of like the ways that you spent your time. What you how your school community sees you, your counselor, the teachers that you've chosen. So I would imagine the person coming into this will already like know that math courses, computer science courses has already been like such a defining part of your life. So I feel like having the personal statement reveal how the storytelling and psychology part of your curiosity has been so influential to the way that you view computer science is adding this layer that like not every applicant's really going to be putting forward. Number one. And two is really central to you. So I'm thinking, you know, if you if you kind of like have each of these characters here maybe have a little bit more of an elaborated specific story that relates to. So for example, with Annabelle, you become you're becoming interested in the gap between the data a system can capture and the person that data may fail to explain. I imagine there's a project, maybe a few that you could parallel and fold in here that allows You know, the reader already knows that you've had a lot of these independent projects that are like on the various burners of your stove, right? So now this is a chance to maybe spotlight a handful of them, but do it in a way that kind of keeps the character link a central focal point of this montage essay. Instead of like slightly like detouring a little bit for like, I had a project that I'm gonna like fold in here for a minute. It kind of breaks up a little bit of the way that I think you're sharing the story. And this will allow you to kind of kill two birds with one stone, not to use a very overly violent metaphor. But does that make how does that land on your end? Harmony (50:35) Yeah, yeah, that makes it. Tom Campbell (50:37) Okay. And then I feel like that also will give you more space to, you know, make this link to Riley too. So Riley is the hockey player who appears unserious but is like really dedicated to the hustle. And I think, you know, this these contradictions that you have laughing when you're nervous, returning home to rewrite math problems, dealing programs, I think this could allow you to like make these all a lot more specific and kind of like really bring these to life a little bit more too. So help the reader get to basically see you through Riley. And then to further see you through Annabelle. I think like these additions are wonderful new ones that you put into this this new draft that expand beyond the characters beyond NYX. So basically the thesis here, what can Nix, Riley, and Annabelle help reveal about the, you know, the comprehensive view as much as possible? Yeah. Does that seem like a good Yeah. New direction for draft number okay. Sounds good. Well, for the sake of time, I think we'll probably leave that there. And luckily, this is a podcast series. So each each and every time Harmony and I come back together, there'll be new updates of work to bring forward to all of you who are tuning along with the journey. And in the next few episodes, we're gonna talk tackle other parts of the process beyond the personal statement. And you know, a we'll check in on maybe a new version of this, and B, We'll get to see a little bit more about kind of like some of the supplemental essays that are going to be part of your overall application strategy. What schools you know you decided to land on for your college list, and also a little bit of a teacher for the University of California. Because as you mentioned before, like your school counselors gave you guidance around, they do kind of write their own rules with their writing style and application. So a little dedicated asterisk of, but at the UCs, it's a little different. It will have its time in the sun. Yeah. Well, Harmony, thank you so much for sharing this amazing work in progress that already like A feels like a complete piece, but I just know that the more you mold the clay and and you know make these kind of refinements, I'm really excited for kind of how this is gonna end up turning out in the end. I think it's gonna be something really special. Yeah. All right. I will see you in a few weeks. And until then, everyone else, stay curious. Not just about Harmony, but about your life too. Harmony (52:51) Exactly. Tom Campbell (52:56) Alright, friends, thanks as always for tuning into the College Essay Guy podcast. Keep liking and subscribing for more quality admission content, and we hope to see you on the next one. Stay curious.
