Written by Jay Zhang, CEG College Counselor
I want you to think about that feeling you might get on a Sunday night.
The sun is setting, and a quiet dread starts to creep in. It’s not just about the weekend being over. It’s the weight of the week ahead.
The mountain of AP homework, the upcoming club leadership meeting, the hours of test prep, the project you’re behind on.
It feels like you’re standing at the bottom of a cliff, and the only way out is up.
If you’re a student in Silicon Valley, that feeling can be a constant companion. The pressure isn’t just in your head: it’s in the air you breathe. It’s the engine that drives everything, but it can also be the thing that wears you down.
Have you ever had a moment where you just wished you could hit pause? Or fantasized about going to a different school, somewhere... quieter?
It reminds me of something an admissions officer from a highly-respected, highly selective university told me once. She said, "You know, sometimes I feel like the best advice I could give a talented kid from Cupertino is to tell their family to move to Ohio for high school."
And here’s the most important part: While that sounds dramatic, she wasn't entirely wrong.
Let's be really blunt for a second. For some students, the ones who feel like they are truly drowning, who feel their anxiety getting worse and their love of learning fading under the sheer weight of it all, a change of scenery—a place with less pressure—might genuinely be a healthier path. Your well-being comes first. Always.
But for most of you, picking up and moving isn't the answer, nor should it have to be.
So let’s talk about what that admissions officer was really getting at. Let’s break down the two sides of her comment:
the strategic side, which is about college admissions
and the human side, which is about the place you call home.
The Admissions Officer’s Logic: Big Fish, Overstocked Pond
So, back to that admissions officer. Why would she say something so seemingly crazy?
From her perspective, it’s about context and impact.
When she reads an application from a student in a small town in the Midwest who started the school's first-ever robotics club from scratch, begging for funding and recruiting the only two other kids interested in coding, that story jumps off the page. That student's initiative is undeniable.
Now, she looks at an application from Silicon Valley. The student is president of a 100-member robotics club that has state-of-the-art equipment and a long history of winning championships. It's incredibly impressive, no doubt. But it's harder to see the student's individual impact.
You're a very big, very smart fish in a pond that is literally overstocked with very big, very smart fish.
The "move to Ohio" comment isn't an insult. It’s a blunt admission that in a less competitive environment, your unique talents and drive would be easier for them to see.
Side note: If you want to listen to former admissions officers talk through the admissions process at selective colleges, check out this YouTube video.
BUT... Let's Talk About Why Silicon Valley is a Safe Haven
Now, I want to stop and acknowledge a huge, important reality that this logic misses.
For so many Asian American kids, Silicon Valley isn't a trap. It's a refuge.
It's a place where you can go to 99 Ranch or H-Mart with your parents and hear your family’s language spoken in the next aisle. It's where you can grab boba or hot pot five minutes from where you live. It’s where you aren't the "one Asian kid" in the class, expected to speak for your entire race. It's a place where you aren't bullied for bringing kimbap for lunch, and where your ambition to "geek out" over something academic isn't seen as weird, but as normal.
That is not the reality everywhere.
For many, the thought of moving to a place with less diversity isn't about standing out—it’s about facing potential isolation, misunderstanding, or even racism. The cultural and emotional safety of being in a community that gets you is real, and it is incredibly valuable.
So, you’re caught in a paradox. The very thing that makes you feel safe and understood might be making it harder for you to stand out in your college applications.
The STEM Bottleneck
Let’s add one more layer of difficulty. It’s the elephant in the room for so many families: It seems like so many students want to major in Computer Science or Engineering. And it seems like virtually everyone sees the same two schools as the holy grail: Stanford and the UCs (specifically UC Berkeley).
The competition to get into any great CS program is fierce. But trying to get into those two specific programs from this specific geographic area? It creates an admissions bottleneck so narrow it’s almost statistically impossible. You are not just competing with the rest of the world; you are competing with thousands of students who have a similar background and the exact same dream, all living within a 50-mile radius.
So let’s ask a tough question. How do you stand out in that specific race?
The honest answer is that unless you are that one student—the one who got into RSI, the one who won a medal at the International Olympiad in Informatics, the one who is a Regeneron Science Talent Search finalist for your published AI research—trying to win on STEM achievements alone is like trying to win the lottery.
You can be a brilliant, 4.0 student with a 1580 SAT who is president of the coding club and still not get in. In fact, that describes thousands of applicants.
So, if you’re not that literal #1 student, you have to find another way to play the game. You have to show them a different side of yourself.
The Real Solution: “Move” Without Moving
This is where we get to the good stuff. Because you don’t need a moving truck. You just need a new mindset.
The goal isn't to literally leave Silicon Valley. The goal is to find a way to achieve the impact of that kid in Ohio without sacrificing the community you love. You have to break the local formula. You have to give them something they can’t find in anyone else’s file.
And it starts by looking inward.
I want you to try a little exercise. I call it “Resume vs. Reality.” Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.
On the left side, under “Resume,” list the things you think colleges want to see. The things from the formula. Like
President, Coding Club
USACO Gold Division
Research with a university professor
1st place at the county science fair
On the right side, under “Reality,” list what you actually care about. The things that light you up, even if they feel "unproductive" or "silly." Like
That feeling when you finally get your Python code to run after 3 hours of debugging. (Not the award, the feeling.)
How you taught yourself guitar by watching YouTube videos so you could play your favorite indie songs.
Your obsession with finding the best hole-in-the-wall noodle shops in San Jose.
The long conversations you have with your grandpa about his childhood and what it was like growing up in a different country.
Your secret love for writing fantasy stories.
That list on the right? The “Reality” list? That isn't a distraction from your application. That IS your application.
That’s the material for a compelling essay. That’s where an admissions officer will discover your curiosity, your resilience, your humor, your kindness. That’s where they’ll find a person, not just a profile.
Your Story Is Your Superpower
The pressure you feel is real. The competition is real. But the idea that you have to be a perfect, polished version of everyone else is a myth.
Your story—with all its specific, quirky, and heartfelt details—is the one thing you have that no one else does. It is your competitive edge. It is your superpower.
Don’t hide it. Don’t sand it down.
Tell that story. I promise, it’s the one they've been waiting to hear.
A Quick Word for Parents
I see you. I know the sacrifices you’ve made—the long hours, the move to a new country, the constant push to provide a better, more secure life for your child.
Everything you do comes from a place of deep love and a desire for their security. For many, the clearest symbol of that security is a degree from a famous, highly-ranked university.
That desire isn't just about logic. It’s rooted in a real-world understanding of how things work: A degree from one of these schools is frequently more than an education—it’s an unparalleled launchpad. It provides instant credibility, access to a network of influential alumni, and exposure to resources and intellectual discourse that can shape a person’s entire life.
I get it. That dream is valid.
For the many families who hold this particular dream, the goal makes perfect sense—and at the same time, I believe it’s important to remember that a “successful life” isn’t dependent on a single acceptance letter to an elite school.
And unfortunately, the very strategy most people use to pursue this dream is fundamentally flawed. Following the exact same checklist as everyone else is the fastest way to become invisible in a stack of qualified applications.
The admissions officers at these elite schools are the best in the world at spotting a “packaged” applicant. They read thousands of applications from brilliant students who have checked every single box. The perfect GPA, the top test scores, the club presidency—these aren’t differentiators anymore. They are simply the price of admission, the ticket that gets you into the lottery.
So, how do we help your child actually stand out?
You have to stop trying to build a "perfect applicant" and instead give them the freedom to become a person, not a profile.
Think about it. These schools are less interested in one more student from a generic research internship and more interested in the student who is so obsessed with marine biology they spent their own time building a system to monitor local tide pools.
They're not looking for another business club president. They're looking for the kid who ran financial literacy workshops at the local library, helping recent immigrant families learn how to build credit and navigate the American banking system.
The path to a happy, fulfilling life is paved with genuine passion. And, counter-intuitively, that same path is also the most effective strategy for gaining admission to a top-tier university. This is because when your child pursues what truly fascinates them, they naturally develop the qualities these schools are desperate to find: initiative, intellectual curiosity, community engagement, and an authentic voice.
Your child doesn’t need a manager pushing them to build the "perfect" resume. They need a parent who gives them the space and support to explore who they really are.
Trust them.
Trust that when they are doing something they love, they are not taking a risk—they are building the foundation for a happy and successful life.
Jay Zhang
Jay is a counselor at CEG, holding an MA in School Counseling from NYU, a BS in Microbiology from UCLA, a PPS credential, and certification as a Strong Interest Inventory practitioner. With over a decade of experience as an Independent Educational Consultant (IEC) and school counselor, he specializes in guiding students in STEM fields and UC admissions. As a former UCLA scholarship reader and interviewer, Jay offers keen insight into crafting unique and standout applications. He employs a strength-based approach, focusing on students' overall development to help them create tailored college plans, build skills for a bright future, and successfully gain admission to a wide range of selective institutions. A Southern California native, Jay enjoys beach days and hiking.
Top Values: Authenticity | Balance | Compassion
