The college application process can be an exciting time in a student’s life.
And it can also, unfortunately, add some tension to the parent/child relationship.
Because the process is generally stressful enough already, the guide below provides a comprehensive overview of five key missteps parents should avoid during their teenager's college application journey.
We’ll walk through
Constructing a balanced college list to prevent disappointment
The proper role of college essays and parent involvement
How to identify reliable information while steering clear of misinformation
Emphasize the critical need to address financial considerations early in the process
And highlight the value of leveraging outside support from counselors and admissions experts to navigate the complexities of college admissions.
Practical advice and resources are offered for each of these crucial areas.
By the end, we’re hoping you’ll understand how you can bring a bit more ease, and purpose, and maybe even joy to the application process.
Let’s dive in.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
(click to skip ahead)The college application process has seen tremendous changes over the past several decades, and especially in just the last five years.
Because of that, it likely seems complex—building a well-informed approach is the key to a more effective and easeful process.
To that end, here are five crucial areas, offering clear, actionable steps to help your family navigate the journey with confidence and create the best outcomes for your student.
Craft a College List That Inspires Success, Not Disappointment!
Building the right college list is foundational to a positive experience.
But keep in mind that it's about finding the best fit for a student, ensuring they have great options, and embracing variety beyond just the most well-known schools. (It’s pretty easy to think that “high rankings = great school for my kid specifically.” That’s definitely not always the case. Please be wary of conflating prestige with quality of education or with how well a student will thrive at and after attending a given college.)
Highly selective schools, for example, have become significantly more selective in recent years. For instance, Harvard's admit rate dropped from 18% in Class of 2004 to 4% for Class of 2024, and MIT went from 29% to 5% in the same period.
Ignoring this reality can lead to disappointment later.
Actionable Steps:
Identify what truly matters most to your student when building their list; the more specific the criteria, the better.
Create a balanced list that includes "Super Reach," "Reach," "Target," and "Likely" schools. Don't neglect the "Likely" options—there are great college choices here, and 10-12 schools total is plenty for most students.
Go for variety. Consider urban, suburban, or small-town settings, as well as large, medium, or small institutions like comprehensive universities or small colleges. Understand the differences and what feels like the best fit for your student.
Visit schools if possible to get a firsthand impression
Resources for your list:
How to Build a College List (Or How to Build a College List on a Budget)
CollegeXpress (for lists by criteria)
The Fiske Guide to Colleges
College Match: A Blueprint for Choosing the Best School for You (by S. Antonoff)
and Collegedata.com (a free source for basic data on all US universities)
Empower Your Student's Voice in Their College Essays and Application Questions!
The college essay is a powerful part of the application, and a parent’s role is one of support, not control.
The Common App Personal Essay is one of three narrative writing components that act as a piece of the jigsaw puzzle, revealing more about your student.
What the essay IS:
It's an opportunity to show you (the student) can write, bring yourself to life by sharing your values, opinions, and interests, speak with your own voice, provide "evidence" to make your case, and fill in the gaps in the rest of the application.
What the essay ISN'T:
It's not an entry in an essay contest, disconnected from the rest of the application, a random piece of writing, a place to complain, be hateful, or "trauma dump," a landmine ("hit and run"), or about someone else.
Actionable Steps for Parents/Guardians:
Ask your child what they want and need from you during the essay process.
Focus on organization, brainstorming ideas, proofreading, and check-ins, always rooted in your pre-existing relationship.
Resist micromanaging
Help them identify a trusted adult if they need additional support or feedback.
Appreciate their efforts and growth.
Resources for writing:
How to write a college essay step-by-step
Tons of example essays (and more essay examples here and here)
Navigate the Information Landscape: Seek Trusted Sources!
In the vast world of college admissions, it's easy to get lost in misinformation and rumor mills that can leave you feeling frustrated, disheartened, and uninformed.
Knowing where to find reliable information is crucial for staying informed and confident.
Actionable Steps:
Rely on Trusted Sources: We’d like to think this includes the College Essay Guy website (and we acknowledge that we are “a little biased” when it comes to things like what we think makes for strong writing and applications, but we’re also highly reputable, and we speak from experience) and other online resources used by counselors like College Matchpoint and College Guidance Network.
Also, utilize school-specific data and insights from your child's high school counseling team (e.g., SCOIR, Naviance, MaiaLearning), the colleges themselves (and regional admissions officers), and NACAC (National Association for College Admission Counseling).
Proceed with Caution: Be wary of information from friends or acquaintances going through the process, open online forums (like Facebook groups, College Confidential, Reddit), and social media in general. (They can, of course, be correct… but please double or triple check things.)
Additionally, be cautious of any for-profit company or service that promises outcomes that sound "too good to be true". (More on what we mean in this guide on IEC practices and statistics)
Prioritize Financial Fit Early in the Process!
With the cost of college rising, it’s pretty imperative (to our minds) to integrate financial considerations from the outset. Don't put off financial discussions until the very end of the process.
Understanding Financial Aid: Financial aid comprises funds designed to help you afford the cost of college. These include:
Grants: Free money
Scholarships: Awards for achievements (e.g., academics, athletics, other) or need
Loans: Money you must pay back
Work-Study: An opportunity to hold a job while in school
Aid can be merit-based (qualifying with achievements) or need-based (qualifying based on your family's financial details).
Actionable Steps:
Include a “financial likely” school or two on your list, especially if cost is going to play a large role.
Be aware that many of the most selective schools do not offer merit aid.
Don't overlook selective colleges with high prestige scholarship opportunities, such as W&L-Johnson, NCSU Park, or College of William & Mary’s 1693 Scholars.
Understand loan limits and risks: Student loans are limited ($5,500 freshman year, $6,500 sophomore year, and $7,500 per year junior/senior year).
Parent Plus loans can be dangerous.
For low-income students, target schools that meet 100% demonstrated need (or close to it).
Utilize tools like Net Price Calculators and MyIntuition, or seek out schools that do financial pre-reads (e.g., College of Wooster, Whitman, Union).
Fill out the FAFSA and CSS Profile as early as you can to access financial aid.
Resources for financial aid:
Paying for College modules (a series of detailed, step-by-step guides and explainers)
How to write a scholarship essay + Scholarship essay examples
Strategically Leverage Outside Support for a Smoother Journey
Not knowing how (and when) to lean on outside support from counselors and admissions experts is a common misstep.
Navigating the individual nuances that come up with the admissions process can be complex, and expert guidance can make a significant difference.
Areas where outside support can help: This includes annual course selection, complete reviews of the Common App (including inviting advisors), application strategies, handling deferrals, waitlists, and Letters of Continued Interest (LOCI's), interview preparation, and planning for testing (or navigating test-optional policies). External support can also boost student or parent confidence.
Actionable Steps:
Explore various levels of support tailored to your needs:
Somewhat Individualized: Look for Live Essay Review Webinars and other free webinars, podcasts, blogs, YouTube videos, the Family Handbook for College Admission, and tons of free content on the CEG Website.
More Individualized: Consider Pay-What-You-Can Live and On-Demand Courses covering topics like applying to highly selective colleges and universities, how to write your personal statement, and how to make college affordable.
Most Individualized: Options include One-on-One Essay Coaching, One-on-One College Counseling, and the Matchlighters Scholars Program (a free individualized college counseling program for high-achieving, low-income students).
Key Takeaways
By focusing on these five key areas, you can transform the college application process into an empowering and positive experience for your student and your family.
The process often feels stressful and confusing to students—but it doesn’t have to.
Use the guidance and resources above to (we hope) bring a bit more ease, and purpose, and joy to your experience.
Take care, and best of luck.
Tom Campbell (he/him) is an eternally extra Gemini who has spent the past seven years helping students and families navigate the college admissions process—one alliterative/assonant aphorism at a time. Prior to joining College Essay Guy, he worked as a college counselor at Lakeside School and an admissions officer at Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross (his alma mater). He stans em dashes and semicolons, Kacey Musgraves (all eras, not just star crossed and Golden Hour), superior breakfast burritos, and complaining about space tourism.
Renee Ferrerio
With 30+ years of experience as a school and college counselor, including having been a Director of College Counseling at an independent school and the Department Chair of Counseling at a public school, Renee possesses a wealth of college admission knowledge. She has assisted hundreds of students in pursuing colleges that best fit their goals and aspirations while remaining actively engaged in the field through regional and national professional organizations. Having visited 220 colleges in person, Renee approaches the art of guiding students with a blend of humor and meticulous research, exploring the expansive possibilities in the arena of post-secondary education. As a first-generation college graduate, Renee intimately understands the challenges that students face in navigating the intricate landscape of college admission.
Andrew Simpson, CEG’s Editorial Director, has worked as an educator, consultant, and curriculum writer for the past 20 years, and earned degrees from Stanford in Political Science and Drama. He feels most at home on mountain tops and in oceans.
Top Values: Insight/Growth | Truth | Integrity
