2.3 - Getting Feedback on Your First Draft

Module Content

Congrats on writing a first draft!

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Remember, the elements of a great montage essay are: 

  1. A clear topic or thematic “thread” for your essay

  2. Examples that are strong, specific & visual 

  3. Clear values (at least one per paragraph)

  4. “So what” moments of insight (if these aren’t there yet, don’t worry; I’ll show you how when you revise).

And hey, don’t worry if your first draft is rough. It’s okay. This is a process. 

Here’s the question: Which parts of your essay need the most work? 

 

[action_item]

Action Item: Send your feedback request email.

 

Here’s a sample email:

“Hi, [Your Mentor’s Name]! 

Here’s the first draft of my personal statement. I’d love your feedback:

Question Yes/No/Sort of
Is it clear what my topic is?
Are the examples in each paragraph strong, specific & visual?
Is it clear what values I’m trying to show in each paragraph?
Do you spot at least 2-3 insights, or moments where I answer “so what?” in the essay?

If any of this seems confusing, this two-minute video explains more. 

Finally: As you read my essay, what do you find yourself wanting to know more about?

Thank you so much for your time, 

[Your Name]

Don't have someone who can help you? Here are some options:

  1. Ask a friend who is also writing their essay right now.

  2. Find a writing partner in our Discord Community for Students

  3. Ask a teacher, mentor, sibling, parent, or family friend.

  4. Still can't find someone? You can try rating your essay on your own. (But I'd recommend reaching out to someone else!)

Once you've done this, it's ...

Choose Your Own Adventure Time!