2.3 - Getting Feedback on Your First Draft

In this lesson, I’ll cover:

  • A Few Good Questions to Ask Once You’ve Written Your First Draft

  • How (and Why) You Should Have Someone Give You Feedback

  • Ideas for Different Folks Who Can Give You Feedback

  • Three Paths for Revising Your Essay

Time:

5 minutes

Module content

Congrats on writing a first draft!

cyoa-tool-first-draft-celebration-gif.gif

Don’t worry if this draft feels rough—it should! This is a process. 

The question is: Which parts of your essay now need the most work? 

Here are a few questions to ask about each section:

  1. Challenges + Effects: Are your challenges clear and compelling? Do we understand what you went through and why it was a big deal? 

  2. What I did about it: Did you list clear and specific steps that you took to overcome your challenges? Did you describe everything or nearly everything you can think of? Can you think of anything you may have overlooked that you did as a way of coping with or adapting to that challenge?

  3. What I learned: Does the end of your essay answer the question “so what”? Does it do so in a surprising or illuminating way? Are your final sentences something that someone else could have written, or are they unique to your story? 

Mark these in your essay right now so that a) you can make sure you have them, and b) it’ll be easy for your reader to spot them. Then ...

 

[action_item]

Action Item: Send your feedback request email. 

 

If you have someone who is willing to send you feedback, consider sharing your essay with them. Here’s a sample email:

Hi [Name!]: 

I’ve just finished a draft of my narrative personal statement and I’d love your feedback. Will you please help me by answering these questions? Thank you! 

Question Yes/No/Sort of
Is it clear what my challenges are? Are they compelling (i.e., do you believe they will make for a stand-out essay)?
Is it clear what the effects of the challenges on me were?
Is it clear what I did to overcome my challenges?
Is it clear what I learned from these experiences?

Finally, if you have a few extra minutes: As you read my essay, what do you find yourself wanting to know more about?

If any of this seems confusing, this two-minute video explains more. 

Thank you so much for your time, 

[Your Name]

Don't have someone who can help you? Here are some ideas for folks you can get feedback from:

  1. Ask a friend who is also writing their essay right now.

  2. Find a writing partner in our Discord Community for Students

  3. Ask a teacher, mentor, sibling, parent, or family friend. Ideally, this is someone who knows what colleges are looking for. But if this person does not have much experience reviewing college essays, you can send them this two-minute video.

  4. Still can't find someone? You could try rating your essay on your own ... but I'd recommend reaching out to someone else, if at all possible.

No matter which option you choose, make sure you let the reader know that you’d like to hear back soon so you can keep working through the tool.

Next steps

Once you’ve received feedback, it’s time to ...

Choose Your Own Adventure

  • Click here if your “Challenges + Effects” section needs work.

  • Click here if your “What I Did About It” section needs work.

  • Click here if your “What I Learned” section needs work.

Important: If you’re already pretty sure you can strengthen all three parts of your essay (or just don’t want to wait to get feedback before you start revising), just start with the top lesson and work through all three. Odds are, you’ll learn something in these lessons that will improve your essay. Plus, they’re pretty short.

And if by some chance all three sections of your essay are perfect (which is extremely rare on a first draft), then move on to the “3 Ideas for Your Opening” lesson.

But TBH, if the person providing you feedback tells you that your first draft is perfect, I’d recommend asking someone else. Not because you aren’t capable of doing that, but because writing a perfect draft on the first try is so rare.

Now click one of the links above! Or, if you’re not sure which one is right for you, click continue to move on to the next module.