518: Inside the Application (Part 4): How to Know if You’re “Almost Done” with Your College Application

Ethan Sawyer  0:08  
Music. Hi friends, and welcome back to the podcast. So this is Episode Four in my continuing series with Cassidy, a current high school senior who's working through the application process. We're getting close to deadlines here, so what I suggested we do is what I call an almost done doc review. And an almost done document is basically one that involves having Cassidy put her personal statement, her activities, list, her additional information, and the supplemental essays for the school that she's most excited about applying to. In this case, it's Stanford, and we put them all in one doc. And then we go, okay, what are we seeing? What are we noticing? What is the application? What is it going to look like to the admission reader, she reads through each piece, and we talk about what values she sees. She shares first, and then I share what I see. And then, yeah, okay, I gave her some notes for some potential revisions. Hope you enjoy. You


Hi, Cassidy, welcome back to the podcast. Hi. So I have to let you know. First of all, I was at a conference, the National Conference, last week. I don't know why I emphasized national. I wanted it to sound special, but I had at least four counselors come up to me, you have fans. Cassidy,


Unknown Speaker  1:23  
oh my gosh. Are you serious?


Ethan Sawyer  1:26  
You have fans. You have people out there who like, know you and like you and who are rooting for you. Oh my gosh. They came up to me and they literally said to me, I love Cassidy. Oh my gosh.


Cassidy  1:43  
Oh, that's so sweet. What?


Ethan Sawyer  1:46  
Yeah, it was really cool. And I was like, right, isn't she awesome? And they were like, She's so great. And they're like, all excited to know how your application turns out, and excited to see, like, where you'll end up, and all these things. So I just want you to know that there's like, you're getting a lot of love


Cassidy  2:00  
out there already. Oh my gosh. Oh, thank you so much.


Ethan Sawyer  2:05  
Well, let's just, let's just jump in. How's it going? How's the writing process going? You're like, a couple weeks from submitting, right? Yeah. And I'm just curious to know, how is the writing process gone over the last couple weeks? I


Cassidy  2:16  
feel like this one was honestly probably my hardest round writing because I, honestly, I got stuck with a lot of the Stanford essays, but oh my gosh, my college counselor at school, my school's college counselor. She's amazing. I love her so much. I just went to her to, like, get help for some ideas and like, direction on where to go with my Stanford essays. And she was so helpful. She pulled up, like, example, essays and like, talked with me about, like, where else I might, I might go with the essays. So that was good. Yeah,


Ethan Sawyer  2:49  
amazing. And just a quick shout out to college counselors like, and students, students who are out there listening, and you're like, Well, my counselor is too busy. Yo, your counselor wants to meet with you and talk with you, and please, please, please, make use of your college counselor like they want to. They're there for you. So, like, I don't know, just just a shout out, and also just a shout out to college counselors who are like, in the work right now, I'm just so grateful for you and for every single, every little thing you do to quote a 90s R and B song. So, yay. Okay. And I'm also curious, to whatever extent you feel comfortable sharing, you know, I just scanned, I haven't looked at the essays in depth yet, but I scanned what you had, and it seems like you've put some work in, like, could you give us a sense of, like, how much work you've put in? Like, how many hours you've spent, let's just say, like, on a given week, how many right now, it's like, a couple weeks before the deadline, let's say, like, last week, how many hours you think you put in on your application?


Cassidy  3:43  
Yeah, I told myself that weekends would be just for college apps. So I get all my schoolwork done in the weekdays, and then dedicate my Saturdays and Sundays. So Saturdays I'll, like, probably go to the library and then work on them from like, maybe one to six, and then after that, I'll have dinner, and then, like, talk to my mom about them, so maybe, like, six ish hours on Saturday, and then Sunday, I have church in the morning, and then I'll come back and work on them for another, like, five hours ish. Okay,


Ethan Sawyer  4:13  
so at least what I'm hearing there is at least 11 hours, and if we're including conversations, maybe more, and you're grouping it all on the weekend, and then leading up to this, I just want y'all to know, like, Cassidy put in the work y'all. And I want to say this because I talked to a couple counselors, and I said, you know, these, these didn't, these essays, didn't just like as they say, and, you know, they expression this out. They didn't just roll out of bed like that. You know, this is like, the product of, like, many iterations. So if you're listening to this, if you're a student and you're listening, you're like intimidated by this. I mean, this is the product of Cassidy putting in work. A second question I want to ask you, is Cassidy, to what extent do you consider yourself a writer? Would you do? Is this a way that you identify or not so much?


Cassidy  4:53  
Honestly, not really. I don't really enjoy writing that much. I'm more of a reader and. I like talking more than writing also, but honestly, I think with the college essays, it's so different from, like, school essays, because I can let my voice come through, so it's a lot more like talking. So I have kind of enjoyed, yeah, doing the writing for this cool


Ethan Sawyer  5:16  
that mean, that's, that's my hope. You're, that's kind of like, you're kind of like the dream student in that way, like that's what I hope that like as they go through it, they start to like it more. And it's it has worked for you. It's not the case for every student. But the point that I want to make is that for students who are listening like this, it's possible to write awesome essays, even if you don't consider yourself a writer, even if you don't like writing, if you're willing to put in some work. And I'm just so grateful Cassidy for the way that you've been able to like put in a lot of work. And I think it's think it's yielded some really cool essays. So without further ado, what I'd love to do is I want us to do what's called an almost done review. And this is something that I do with students. You know, I encourage it on my courses. My coaches do it with students. It's, it's a really simple thing, but anybody can do it, and it's going to give you a really great overview of what your application is leading up to, like, what is it looking like to the reader. And the simple way that you do this is you basically put your personal statement on a Google doc underneath it, you put your activities list and the descriptions underneath that, you put your Additional Information section, if you have one, and then underneath that you put the supplemental essays for whatever early schools you're applying to. So Cassidy's put this together. We've got an almost undock in front of us each and once that's done, you kind of start to see, okay, this is everything that Stanford's gonna get in terms of the writing pieces. What I'm gonna ask you to do Cassidy is to read the application through it. We're going to start with a personal statement, and as you're doing that, I'm going to mute my microphone so you won't hear me. I'm going to be typing and basically marking on this Google Doc the values that I see coming through in this application. And this is what I call a value scan. Now, in some cases, it's going to be values that are coming through really clearly. In some cases, there will probably be moments where it's like, I think that it's like, hinting at a particular value, but it's maybe not as clear as it could be yet. And so I'll mark those. And then in some situations, and I don't know if we'll find any today, but there might be values that you feel strongly about or feel strongly committed to or connected to, that just aren't showing up in the application yet. So if I spot any of those, or if, as you're reading them, you're like, Oh, I really want to get this more into my application. We can talk about that too. But essentially, I want you to read your personal statement through. Just to start, I'm going to be noticing values. I want y'all who are listening, because this is good practice, both as students and counselors, to see if, as we're going along, you can kind of play along and see if you can notice values, because I think it's cool to see what you notice versus what I notice and then, versus what Cassidy notices. Because then I'll also ask you, Cassidy, when we get to the end, after I share some, what are some other values that you noticed? Actually, I might let you go first and share some values, because it'll be easier, because I'm going to be probably marking up like 10 or 20. So I'm going to probably let you go first and then, and then share some more, because I'll have the advantage of typing. And this particular exercise is one that I think you can do on your own if you want, or it's really great to do with a counselor. You could do it with a peer, you know, have them listen to this podcast. You can kind of see how it works or how it goes. And I think it's a pretty good thing to do right around this point where, like, two weeks before the deadline. I say that because if you wait too long and you do this, like the night before, you just have less room to make changes. So we've got a little time yet. Okay, I'm gonna mute my mic. Cassidy, you're on. I want you to read this personal statement like you've never read it before. And I don't mean like in terms of quality. I mean, try and imagine that this is, like, something that you're that's relatively new to you, and I'm going to be looking for values and marking them, and then I'll share what I notice. And again, y'all listening along, I want you to see if you could notice some values that maybe Cassidy and I don't end up mentioning. All right, let's hear it. Okay,


Cassidy  8:55  
circular, black eyes, square head with rounded edges, disproportionately small body. No, this isn't an otherworldly species or me for that matter. These are my childhood obsessions, tiny figurines that captured my heart from a young age, Funko Pops, rather than Roxas, seashells. I fell in love with collecting pop culture minifigures. Yet it is not just the characteristic Japanese chibi style of the Pops that endears me to them, but also the shards of myself that I glimpse in their reflections, fluffy white ears, red vest and a tiny golden pocket watch the size of my pinky finger, my white rabbit pop, he mirrors my ability to take an entropic situation and learn how to thrive in it. At 12 years old, my dad died, suddenly, uprooting the foundations of my life and drastically reshaping our family dynamics. I learned to adjust to having only one parent, from carpooling more often to surrendering my mom's attention to my younger brother. Though tragic, it taught me how to adapt confronting challenges to me means reshaping my mindset to a. Up to the situation rather than trying to force the situation to fit my expectations. Belle's saffron dress fills out midspan. Her character reminding me of the power of empathy I am as Gen Z has coined the term a yapper, meaning that I have a tendency to chatter non stop. Books will never feel happy running my mouth, doubly so if they're in the historical fiction genre. However, the death of my dad revealed to me the importance of listening, of empathizing with someone simply by remaining quiet. I see it at House of grace, hearing the stories of addicted women seeking liberation and responding with silent recognition, discerning the gratitude in women's voices when they grasp that they're not alone. It's clear to me that a listening ear speaks more to the heart than a rambling mouth ever could grinning out from the top shelf. The genie from Aladdin parallels my creative side, just as magic is his artistic medium, ballet is mine. Whether I'm choreographing a new dance or interpreting a classic, my creativity always shines through my dancing, particularly in my love for musicality. My favorite way to accent each step is to shape it to the flow of the music. Will my pique air best be fluid and sustained, a la Swan Lake, or striking and flamboyant, as in Don Quixote? In this way, each variation I perform is distinct whether or not someone else has already performed. It. Through ballet, I've seen that there's value in ingenuity, not only in conjuring up new ideas, but also in adding nuance to existing ones. MJ, from Marvel's Spider Man franchise, may not be the picture of happiness, but her dry humor and ability to lighten tense situations echoes my love for laughter. From bridging the gap between 17 and seven years old at ballet to softening my family's sorrow, I've learned that laughter is a powerful force. I giggle at my brother's deafening post dinner burp joining into my summer camp kids goofy faces contest. Laughing might just be my favorite hobby now, I constantly utilize it to build relationships with others, including volunteering at the hospital while I can perform a joint replacement surgery. I can support patients emotional health by stopping stopping by their rooms to chat after my hospital task list duties are done, cracking jokes at their bedside. I see how laughter allows others to see me as someone they can connect with a faint reminder of their granddaughter or friend or child, and more than just the girl restocking the gloves, tail swishing back of who's it's and what sits in hand. Aerial reflects my curiosity whether I'm holding avid study hall discussions with my AP Bio teacher about riffliff restriction fragment length polymorphism analysis or researching the effects of long er wait times on the progression of traumatic brain injuries at CNI X, I am driven by an insatiable craving for knowledge. My favorite bionar moments happened when I spot a connection between textbook material and real world applications. No one was as excited to read about polymerase chain reaction than I was when I realized that, oh my gosh, that's how covid PCR tests were conducted. For me, the unexpected connection between the three step DNA proliferation process and the snot on my nose swab sparked interest in the crossover between biotechnology and medical innovation. You've probably guessed by now that I want to be a doctor, you'd be right, but more specifically, I want to be an oncologist. I truly want to save lives. In the context of a constantly evolving field on the cutting edge of medical science, my love for continuous curation of knowledge converges with deeply meaningful and relational work. Speaking of curating, I'm thinking of adding a new Funko Pop to my collection. Elizabeth Blackwell, maybe,


Ethan Sawyer  13:54  
wow. So I want to share impact, because you only get one chance to hear an impact on somebody, especially when it's live. And I want you to know that I have tears in my eyes and I'm and I don't know if that surprises you or not, because you just had like a surprise look on your face, but I find myself really moved by this essay at the end here, and I'm also saying wow to the depth and the quality of work that you put into this.


Cassidy  14:24  
Thank you so much.


Ethan Sawyer  14:25  
It's just, it sings. It's just, there's so much here Cassidy, it's like, it's just wow. It's just wow. I'm not gonna have too many like, constructive criticism notes for this, just so you know, because I think that it is if it's not done, it's very much almost done. But I just love to, like, pause for a second, because I'm gonna ask you about the values in just a second. Well, I'm curious, just on a sort of, like, meta level, what was it like for you reading this essay aloud?


Cassidy  14:57  
I don't know. I mean, I feel like. I read this essay myself so many times working on it, that it's kind of like, I don't know, I feel like I've read this essay so many times. It's not new or anything, but yeah, to hear you say that. Yeah. Thank you so much.


Ethan Sawyer  15:14  
Do you feel that this essay, to what extent do you feel this essay represents who you are?


Cassidy  15:20  
I think it really does represent who I am, because it captures, like, all of my different aspects, I think. And I I definitely hear my voice come through. Yeah.


Ethan Sawyer  15:29  
So let's talk about some of those aspects. What do you feel? And this will get us into the values a little bit. But what different aspects of you do you feel like it's, it's showing,


Cassidy  15:37  
I think it's showing, like, the contrast between my love for fun and laughter, and then my also my love for being serious and like being sensitive to other people and to my own emotions. And I think it's also showing how I love knowledge. I'm super curious, and I love learning, and it just makes me so happy, and also how happy I am to be involved in, like, all of my different extracurriculars, like, they all mean something to me.


Ethan Sawyer  16:04  
I'm just writing these down on a separate doc because I didn't want you to be self conscious. I made a copy of this because I didn't want you to be like, seeing me typing all over your document while you were reading. So I'll share with you after, I promise. Yeah, I'm hearing sensitivity. There's like, an emotional sensitivity and emotional intelligence that's coming through. And then there's also that nerdy side, right? That love of knowledge and the love of extracurriculars, and you're weaving them in in really thoughtful ways. And by thoughtful, I mean like you're not focusing on the extracurricular activity for the extracurricular itself, but you're talking about what you've learned from it. So I'm getting insights. You're giving me information that isn't already obvious from elsewhere in your application. Quick meta note to counselors who are listening. Basically what I'm doing with Cassidy right now is I'm just using reflective language and essentially Cassidy, what I'm doing with you is I'm saying back to you what you're saying, but I'm saying it in my own words, just letting you know that I hear you and like, I really feel what you're saying, and I also, like, really agree. Oh, thanks. So some other things that I'm seeing here, some values, some of what I loved about your essays is that I wrote down values and then I saw that like as as I was typing them in, you actually named them in the essay. And I didn't mind that at all. I felt that that was really nice, actually. So if the reader is reading fast, it makes it explicit. Sometimes students will think, Well, should I show or tell? And I think in a college essay, it's totally fine to do both. In this case, you go, have I shown it clearly enough? And if it's like, oh, well, I don't know, but let me go ahead and name it, listener, empathizer, like those things come through even more clearly when you name them. And I don't think it takes away from the essay at all. So in the second paragraph, for example. Here's an example this. I was like, ah, somebody who can take an entropic situation and learn how to thrive in it is an adaptable person. And then later in the paragraph, you're like, Hey, I'm adaptable. You know, I've had to become adaptable. I see your commitment to family, your your ability to, you know, in some cases, help others. And then the quality that's at the end of the end of the second paragraph is one that I think is so important, and I think is under talked about in the college admission world. But if you ask a college admission officer, do you want this, they're going to be like, Absolutely, and it's the quality of perspective taking. So when I look at the end of your second paragraph, you say, confronting challenges to me means reshaping my mindset to adapt to the situation, rather than trying to force a situation to fit my expectations. And that is a superpower like your ability to recognize that, to know that, and to do that in a moment is like amazing. And I ended up making that note like three or four times in this essay. So in the next paragraph, when you talk about books, we see your nerdy side, intellectual curiosity, which, by the way, is one of the things that Stanford likes looks for, maybe more than anything, at least, you know, when they were training readers up until, like five years ago. Because that's as you know, I've been talking with people who are, as you know, recently, coming out of Stanford, as recently as, I'll say, five years ago, they've been training their readers to look for intellectual curiosity in paragraphs three and in paragraphs five and six. In a big way, we really get that intellectual curiosity. Now, when I go at the end of that paragraph, you talk about how you say, actually, sorry, sorry. It's the end of the next paragraph, you talk about how, through ballet, I've seen there's value in ingenuity, not only in conjuring up new ideas, but also in adding nuance to existing ones. And that's another one where you it's that perspective taking where you're like, we don't necessarily need to reinvent things. We can actually just find what's working here or tweak what's already existing. And that's such a such an awesome quality. And it also is, maybe you don't even know it, but it's sort of setting up a theme of like your ability to think critically and to use it in lots of different ways. I see your joy in the laughter paragraph, the goofy faces contest. You know, I love that. When you said laughing might just be my favorite hobby, you literally laughed. Then I love this one. Okay, so here's one that's kind of like a quiet one, but you say, Well, I can't perform. Form a joint replacement surgery, I can support patient's emotional health by stopping by their rooms to chat after my hospital task list duties are done. Now you say that you want to do that after the task list duties are done. To me, that shows real responsibility, really cool. And you do that in like, 12345678, words. So the side note to those listening is like, you can even bring in these values in just a few words, restocking the gloves. And then, oh, there's another one perspective taking where it's like you're more than just the granddaughter, you know, they're more than just the girl restocking the gloves. You know, you're connecting with them on a human level. Lots of nerdy stuff talking about restriction, fragment, length polymorphism, but not too much, which I like. And then at the end here, when you say, you think I'm gonna be a doctor, you'd be right. You've got your sense of humor there, which is beautiful, and then you have this silence that I'm like crying just reading it, I truly want to save lives. And it just like, that's the sentence that just rocked me. And then I love that you bring in Elizabeth Blackwell at the end, and they're gonna, maybe some folks have to, you know, Google, Elizabeth Blackwell, to find out who that is. But maybe that's okay, because if they do get it, then they're going to be like, dang. So this is like a selective risk, where if they don't get it, okay, you miss out something, but if they do get it, it's like, boom. It's kind of like an it's like an insight, the way that inside joke is so you could put somebody that's a little bit more commonly known, but I don't know. I kind of like the choice here. I'm curious, who did you? Did you go through other people besides Elizabeth Blackwell? And why did you land on Elizabeth Blackwell? Yeah, I actually. And also, for those who don't know, well, you just tell folks who Elizabeth Blackwell is. Oh, she's


Cassidy  21:35  
the first female doctor in the US.


Ethan Sawyer  21:41  
And did you go through other possibilities? And how did you land on her?


Cassidy  21:45  
Initially, I was thinking about characters from Grey's Anatomy, but then I was talking about it with my mom, and I actually hadn't thought about Elizabeth Blackwell at all, but she brought it up, and I was like, Wait, that makes so much more sense. So yeah,


Ethan Sawyer  21:59  
fun, fun. Tie to another episode. Yesterday, I was interviewing my best friend for the podcast, and he wrote for Grey's Anatomy, which is just like, What a weird coincidence. That's crazy. But I really like that. You didn't necessarily just name a TV character. You were like, no, here's somebody who made a difference in history and who, who represents, you know, yeah, a lot of the values that you're talking about here. Okay, beautiful work. I only have a tiny note, but I almost hesitate to give it to you, because I think that this, like one tiny word actually makes it less, quote, unquote perfect. And I actually kind of like it so, but I'm gonna say it because I already said it. There was this tiny moment where you say, you say, no one was as excited to read about Pauli Murray's chain reaction than I was, and I think it's like, no one was excited as I was, and you said that I was. It's so tiny that we can go through like, 650 words, and I'm like, okay, that's your note. Yeah, that's my note. But I also want to point out for readers, reading this like that is not going to be a make or break, like they're not going to read that and be like, okay, you don't get into, you know, whatever school. It's just, it's fine. It shows that you're human in an otherwise, like really solid essay. We have a puppy joining us.


Cassidy  23:08  
Sorry, let me


Ethan Sawyer  23:11  
Yeah, of course, please. Okay. All right. Who's joined us now?


Cassidy  23:14  
This is my dog, Augie. He's eight years old. I think he's a rescue, a poodle mix.


Ethan Sawyer  23:19  
Amazing. Yeah, welcome Augie. All right. Augie, we're gonna move to the Activities List. Is that cool? All right. Augie says yes. All right, so Cassidy, I'm not gonna read through the entire activities list, because I don't. I think that that's, like, I don't know, less interesting or useful maybe to folks who are listening. I will separately, kind of do the value scan to, like, do this. But let's do this with a couple of these. Let's look at a couple of these activities, I want you to read it aloud, like read maybe your let's read the first description, and then you tell me what values you're seeing, and I'll tell you what values I'm seeing. So the first one's, you know, you do ballet, and you are a level eight student. You spend 12 hours per week doing this. Go ahead and read this description to us.


Cassidy  23:58  
I perform lead roles in semi annual productions, lead exercises and coach kids in the beginning ballet class, train in rigorous classes and rehearsals Beautiful.


Ethan Sawyer  24:08  
Now, as you look at that, what are the values that you hear coming through there?


Cassidy  24:12  
I think I see work ethic when I'm training in the rigorous classes and rehearsals, and then responsibility when I'm leading the kids, and I guess maybe excellence too for performing lead roles. Great,


Ethan Sawyer  24:26  
absolutely. Yeah, I don't, I don't have anything to add to that. Well, I guess, besides leadership, because you use the word lead, and that's kind of like responsibility, or, I guess responsibility is kind of a part of leadership. But yeah, I think this one's just really solid. I don't have, I don't have any notes on it. I think it's great. The next one, rehab center unit, lead, info, desk, volunteer. You spend five hours a week for doing this. This was 10th through 12th grade. So this is show. So one of the things colleges are looking for is, like, consistent commitment. So when I look at, you know, the ballet, you've been doing that since you were, like, five years old, which is great. The second one, you've been doing this for three years, also great. Read this description to us.


Cassidy  25:00  
I direct visitors around the hospital, manage juniors and act as a liaison between them and the clinical manager, support nurses with ancillary tasks. Beautiful, ancillary.


Ethan Sawyer  25:11  
Yeah, beautiful. So what do you notice here? What values do you notice?


Cassidy  25:15  
I think I see more responsibility and like, some communication as like, in, like, the liaison, yeah, for the test, I guess it's just like, Oh, I'm able to, like, follow directions, right?


Ethan Sawyer  25:28  
I can do the things, yeah, there's directing visitors from the hospital, manage juniors and act as liaison between them. I you know of these. Here's a tiny note. I think that if, if one of the things is to demonstrate leadership, slash responsibility. You might just I think the I direct visitors around the hospital seems like something that someone like I'm not gonna say anyone could do, but it's a little bit less exciting than managing juniors and acting as a liaison between them and the clinical manager like that one to me, shows more responsibility. I might suggest that you cut, I direct visitors around the hospital, because that sounds like sort of like you're just like the host at a restaurant and, you know, and then I love the support nurse with ancillary tasks. I actually appreciate the ambiguity of that, because I imagine there's a range of things, but if you cut, I direct visitors around the hospital, then what I would suggest doing this is one of those opportunities where you could go in and go, Okay, let me look at the values list and go, what's another value that I feel like I'd like to bring forth here? Or you can look back at that epic list of activities, list verbs, and then go, okay, what are some other things that I've done? Just to remember stuff and bring forward one more thing. And, you know, you basically take those 123456, words, and you bring in just one more value there. Okay, cool. Last, let's do one more, and then we'll I'll send you notes on the rest of them, selected student ambassador at your school, and I'll read this one just for variety I spearhead on campus CCC events, and that's College and Career Center events to promote college and career awareness to students run the schools Instagram or run the Career Center's Instagram account. Interview new ambassadors. So hearing that, what values do you notice?


Cassidy  27:10  
I'm seeing leadership in the spearheading the events, yeah, and maybe even, like a little bit of creativity in the Instagram account. Totally


Ethan Sawyer  27:18  
Me too. Me too. And then more responsibility interviewing new ambassadors. Like somebody trusts you enough to put you in charge of interviewing the new folks that are going to be and that just that tells me who you are on your high school campus, like, I like knowing that you are the person that people trust to interview the new folks. Because it's like, it's not like that. You're just an ambassador. It seems like you're like a lead ambassador. And even though you don't say lead ambassador, that to me, implies that I like, also in your description, you've said selected student ambassador. So it's not just like, hey, I'm just, you know, one of many here, I just signed up like I was chosen for this. And you don't necessarily have to say who you were chosen by, or how that process went, or out of how many people. It's just fine to put selected student ambassador. Now, in some cases, quick side note, if you were selected as one of 300 I think that can be worth putting but if it's just like you were chosen, I think that's fine. Okay, as I scan and look at the rest of this, I'm just going to kind of give the big picture awareness some or just so that the listeners have a sense of some of the other things you do. So you volunteer at a substance abuse residential rehab program as a volunteer, you know the role there is volunteer, and volunteered at as a research assistant the physicians Cancer Center. You were a selected participant for a an immersion experience on the campus of Stanford, a member of church and youth group, you know, also a volunteer crew leader, helping to lead Vacation Bible School at church. Link crew, Link crew leader. This is like leading freshmen into their high school transition and then being a member of ASB as the Spirit Commissioner. I love that coordinating weekly Fun Friday activities and more. So the reason I wanted to read all of those is you kind of now get a sense of, okay, this is some of the stuff that Cassidy has done. And as you sort of look at this, as you do your own values list of let's, let's ask three questions. One, which, which values do you think are really coming through really strongly in your activities list? Like, you're like, Oh, these three things are like, it's clear that I do these things. And then which ones are coming through, maybe not as strong as they could. It's a harder question because you're looking at your own application, but I'm just curious, and let me give you some help with this, because here's a list of like things that colleges look for, and we're going to be doing a whole podcast series on this coming up. But let me just throw this into your document underneath this, and I'll read these aloud so that you can kind of think through them. But here are some things, after doing a big analysis of what colleges look for. So we've got intellectual by the way, not all of these things have to 100% be in your activities list. They could be in your personal statement or your supplements, but we've got intellectual curiosity service to others, leadership or initiative collaboration. Application and consistent engagement. So so far, we're halfway through the application. We're not to the additional info or supplements. Let's talk about intellectual curiosity, actually. Let's just do personal statement and activities list is, do you feel like intellectual curiosity is coming through clearly so far in the application? I


Cassidy  30:16  
think I see it in my personal statement, but maybe not as much in my activities list.


Ethan Sawyer  30:20  
And by the way, side note, that's fine, because we know that it's going to come through again in your supplemental essays. So great. What about service to others?


Cassidy  30:29  
I think so, yeah, volunteering at a few different places.


Ethan Sawyer  30:34  
Yeah, I'm just looking at this. I see service to others coming through in I'm going to count the activities so there's 112, student, Ambassador to Office, volunteer three, research assistant, yep, four, let's see youth group five, helping with transitions into high school six, Vacation Bible School seven, and then spirit Commissioner eight. So I see eight of your 10 activities I think have a dimension of service to others, leadership or initiative? How many? Let's do it this way. How many activities do you count that have some dimension of leadership or initiative coming through?


Cassidy  31:08  
I think. One in ballet, two with the hospital, three at the CCC, five at the interning, I guess.


Ethan Sawyer  31:19  
Yeah, great. And the way that just side note to y'all who are listening, like the way that Cassidy is doing this is using strong verbs that hint at or explicitly say leadership. So I lead X or I spearhead y, you know, and then also some of the responsibilities, like the fact that you interview new ambassadors, I think, demonstrates that leadership. So, yeah, lovely job, I agree. Let's look at the next one, collaboration. Do we see how Cassidy is working with others, or is Cassidy kind of a lone wolf, kind of likes to do things on her own? Like, what do you sense from this, from this, from the essays and activities list so far? Is she good with others? Is she going to be good if we put her on


Cassidy  31:59  
a team? No, she hates people collaboration. I think I could probably put that more into my application, because I don't see it coming through very strongly right now. Yeah,


Ethan Sawyer  32:13  
I agree. I think there are probably some, like, small tweaks. So back to the personal statement, which we think is really good and could totally be submitted tomorrow, there are probably, like, two moments that you could hint at collaboration and working with others. So I don't want this to be something that, like torpedoes your essay and you have to rewrite three paragraphs. I think it's more like, give us two sentences that show the kind of teammate that you are, the way that you listen. And I, by the way, I think that we could definitely argue there are certain moments in here that hint at being a good team member, but like, Yeah, show us working with others in a couple moments. And then I would find maybe one or two moments in the activities list where collaboration could come through even more clearly.


Cassidy  32:52  
Okay, sounds good.


Ethan Sawyer  32:54  
Okay. So the third question I have is, like, Are there values that are maybe additional, things that you want to bring in about yourself, things that are important to you, that maybe aren't making their way into the application yet so far. And again, acknowledging that we're only personal statement and activities list in but let's look back at your original values exercise. So we're both pulling up the doc here, so we've got this values exercise, and there are 10 different qualities that you've said that you wanted to that are important to you. I'm going to read a couple of these, personal development, laughter, close relationships, community, spirituality. So let's just go with those for now, because those were kind of the top five. To what extent do you feel like you're showing personal development, laughter, close relationships, community and spirituality?


Cassidy  33:38  
I think I show the close relationships pretty well, and I guess the community too, because I'm working at like, my local hospital and stuff spirituality. I don't know if that's really showing through right now. I have it in, like, one of my supplemental essays for Stanford, or, like, not even an essay. It's like a short answer, yeah, but yeah, I don't know. I could maybe weave that in a little more cool, yeah, personal


Ethan Sawyer  34:07  
development, laughter, laughter, I see coming through really clearly in the personal Yeah,


Cassidy  34:12  
laughter, yeah. Personal Development, I don't know, maybe not as much on that one.


Ethan Sawyer  34:17  
Okay, now just a side note that this can still be a fantastic application, and you don't have to weave in your top five values. But as we're reading through the next half of the application, it might, you know, be that there are certain moments that you can kind of weave these in. And again, I'm not talking about entire rewrites. I'm talking about a sentence here and there. All right, so let's do this. Let's jump into the second half, and let's take a look at how the additional info section shaped up, and I'm going to not read the whole thing again. I'm going to kind of give the highlights. But we've got ballet 14 years, and you describe, you know, level eight, when you explain this, which I really love, highest level at my studio, classes designed for students of pre professional caliber. Now, side note to students listening, if you put something like level eight. Like, give us a sense of what that even means. Like, what is that? I think that's that's really, really important. Next, you talk about auditioning for and being accepted into a particular summer intensive. You mentioned a couple lead roles that you had. You mentioned also that you're CPR first aid certified as part of the teacher assistant training, and you serve as a role model for all the lower levels. Now, why did you choose Cassidy to put ballet into your additional info section?


Cassidy  35:24  
I think it's such a huge part of my life, and there's so many different aspects of it that I really wasn't able to fit into 150 characters in the description, so I just wanted to elaborate on it and, like, let them know. Like, these are some more stuff I've done, and this is really, really important to me. I


Ethan Sawyer  35:40  
love that it takes up more, more real estate. If we imagine that this is sort of like a map of your, your life so far, it's like, we want that we it's like, no, that's not a house, that's a hotel. Like, that's the there's like, there's a lot that's gotten into that. And how I determine, you know, when I'm suggesting to students if a thing should go in or not go in, is, I imagine the application without it, and I go, Okay, is there something missing? If we take this out, and knowing about, for example, the CPR first aid certification, and knowing context on what level eight even means, and that you got accepted into the summer intensive like this is all, these are all tiny pieces, and this is in bullet points, by the way, that piece by piece, add into giving us context that I think if we just copy paste and do like Cassidy a and Cassidy B, if we have don't have this information, I think it does make some, you know, small difference. Next, we've got the hospital volunteering 100 plus hours. You've noted here one of two unit leads for the volunteer. We have volunteer department. You talk about your responsibilities. There's also something specific that you did where you created this new idea of shift shadowing, which you explained very briefly. And you co founded a rehab art and music program where you designed the lesson plans for weekly hour long arts and crafts session. This is great. I mean, again, this is the kind of stuff that, again, didn't fit in your activities list, but that gives us just a little bit more information about who you are, what you do, and you did a similar one for this physician's cancer clinic. And what's nice about this is that you talk about it from a different perspective. So this is less about sort of, you know, leadership and helping others, and it's more about conducting qualitative research study on this particular you know, event that happened in Lahaina, the fires that happened there. And listen to the language here, so that for folks listening, compiled list of survey participants from patient database, created and distributed survey form to participants, summarize findings from survey into write up and then in process of getting research findings published. Now, were you aware that you were doing like, quote, unquote, something different in this description from the, you know, the hospital volunteering


Cassidy  37:49  
one before? No.


Ethan Sawyer  37:50  
So the different thing that I see you doing is like, this is more about the research side of you and the compiling findings, you know, working with the database, whereas the one above is more about working with others, creating a program, both of which are going to be awesome aspects of, you know, being a medical professional. But what I see in here is like, here's me working with others, here's me creating a program, and here's me doing the nitty gritty of like the spreadsheets and the database and compiling data. And I'm cool. I'm okay doing both, essentially, is what you're saying here. I think


Cassidy  38:23  
cool. I didn't even think of that cool.


Ethan Sawyer  38:25  
Well, it's working really well, and it's something that I think other students listening can learn from as well. All right, so let's jump into the supplemental essays. So these are the ones for Stanford, which are due pretty soon. And I'm gonna do the same thing. I'd love for you to just read the prompts and then the maybe just the word limit, and then read the essay. And as you're doing this, I'm gonna be marking the values as we go, and I'm gonna ask folks who are listening along to kind of play along and do the same thing. So let's start with this first one here.


Cassidy  38:52  
Okay, the first prompt is, the Stanford community is deeply curious and driven to learn in and out of the classroom. Reflect on an idea or experience that makes you genuinely excited about learning, and the word limit is 250 words I wrote simply put an organism at equilibrium is a dead organism. When I learned this in AP Biology, my color coding, day planning, organizational freak self was appalled. How can a system in complete balance not be at its peak. Actually, the goal of the system is to maintain homeostasis, a kind of dynamic stability that trumps static equilibrium. Learning to distinguish between homeostasis and equilibrium taught me to be a catalyst for change, making without fear that any change to a system's balance will throw up perilously out of order. I've grown to love self advocacy and spontaneity this past summer, interning, these values were especially distinct. I constantly metabolized new information, interpreting blood work results, for example, or identifying tumors on a CT scan. However, when she fell ill, I had to pivot shadowing the office. As nurses, nurse practitioner, performing administrative work and bonding with the nurses, I gained a more nuanced understanding of the clinic's approach to cancer care through homeostasis. I've learned that stability doesn't necessarily entail symmetry in cell biology. This means that cells proliferate at different rates based on the body's needs when the mechanisms that regulate the stable asymmetry fail, carcinogenesis, cancer initiation occurs, a huge topic in cancer research through bio four DS advances in cancer biology research and cancer treatments, I'll delve into the scientific advances in said research. I'm excited for my learning in this ever expanding field to be perpetual and dynamic, homeostatic. One might say, Cool.


Ethan Sawyer  40:43  
All right. Before we get into values, I'm curious what because you, I know you worked on this essay, you emailed me in between to say that you were still working on it. How do you feel about it? What do you feel like is working well, and what do you feel like? Do you have any questions about it as you, as you read it aloud?


Cassidy  40:57  
Yeah. So I tried to bring in, like, a specific aspect that Stanford would be able to I'd be able to get at Stanford. So this was, like, a class. I brought in a class at Stanford, and I tried to make it seem like I haven't, like, just, like, learned something, but I'm also still excited to keep learning at the end, but maybe I would still be a little confused between homeostasis and equilibrium, so I could probably clear that up a little more and honestly, maybe, like just the tone of the whole essay make it sound a little more excited.


Ethan Sawyer  41:32  
Okay, cool, yeah, yeah, just to reflect back, I love that you worked in a course there, and I, and I like that. It just really feels in keeping with the tone of the essay that you would still be in process, as it were. There was a moment here in the second paragraph. I'm going to read it back to you where I felt like there was a jump, and I found myself curious about what happened in the jump. So I'm going to reread the beginning simply put an organism at equilibrium is a dead organism. When I learned this in AP, bio, my color coding, day planning, organizational freak self was appalled. How can a system in complete balance not be at its peak? I think this is a lovely opening, because you're working in just a few sentences, you're getting in that you're organized, you're willing to be vulnerable, and a little sense of humor, which I think is lovely. In the next paragraph, there's sort of a jump forward, and it makes me wonder, well, how did this happen? This happen? So let me read it out loud. Actually, the goal of a system is to maintain homeostasis, a kind of dynamic stability that trumps static equilibrium. Okay, so first of all, with that, that's a big idea, and it might be worth I sometimes call this like slowing down in the essay. And what I mean by this is, like, doing a little bit of translation, just to make sure that everybody's on board with what you've said so far. Because there are some, there are lots of words in there, maintain homeostasis, dynamic stability, Trump's static equilibrium. And so there might be something here that you could kind of include to just be like, here's what I'm talking about, or just to make sure we're kind of all on the same page, the part I'm most interested in looking at is the next part, learning to distinguish between homeostasis and equilibrium taught me to be a catalyst for change making now, that sounds awesome. And the note that I wrote on your doc was, how, how did learning to distinguish between these two things teach you to be a catalyst for change making. And of course, I'm wonder part two, and then, what did that change making look like in your life? The next sentence says, without fear that any change to a system's balance will throw up perilously out of order. I've grown to love self advocacy and spontaneity Now that's cool and raises other questions about, like, great. How does that spontaneity manifest itself? But if we just look at that second sentence, that second paragraph, it kind of made me wonder if this is like, sort of like the Insight at the end of the essay, potentially, that there's sort of like a journey from Version A of you where you're like, equilibrium. Wait, that's good balance, right? And then something happens to you, and you realize, actually there's this other thing. This is other way of thinking about balance in a way, and it seems like there's some cool stuff that potentially you could work in in between those. So it doesn't have to go this way. But my curiosity is like, is if 250 words is enough to do sort of like a before and after, if you imagine there's a before I was this way, some stuff happened, and then after I was this way, that could be like a really simple structure. Side note to anybody listening, this is really kind of a useful we'll call it a narrative slash challenges structure for an essay, and the way it works is simply you raise a question. At the start, we see you go on a journey, and then you learn something related to the answer, not necessarily solve the problem, but you gain some insight. Now I think it would be useful if the Insight is relevant both to your work with science and. Also to your work with life. So I'm just going to ask a couple leading questions. What did you learn about science and what did you learn about life? So all the stuff after that, the next two paragraphs, which, if I do a quick word count, it looks like it's about 157 words. I want to go, I want to take, I want you to take that and put it somewhere and leave it and know that it's there. And I want to ask if you for the next time you do that, said, maybe you can, you know, email me before you, you know, at least, at least a week or so before you submit it. But like, what happened in between who I was and who I became, and then for the who I became part, I would love to see both science insight and life insight, I think that could be a cool and the reason I'm trying to kind of, I'm being really directive, because we're so close to deadline, but I think that that's about as much as you can do in a 250 word essay. Now I'm pausing for a second to see if there are any other possibilities for structure, because that could, I think that structure could work. But another way to do this, it's a little bit harder, I think, but is you go, here's who I was, part one, part two, here's who, what I would eventually learn. So, kind of like the thesis. And then the sort of, there's some sort of question that's like, but it, you know, I didn't get there immediately, but here's how I got there or but here's how I learned the lesson or something, and then you take us back. You take us through how you learned the lesson. So what that might sound like is equilibrium, not good. Homeostasis, better. You know, equals better. Here's how I learned it. And then you take us through the lesson. And then I think at the end, you would probably want to come back to, like, some kind of insight, or so what moment? So what I'm trying to do is just acknowledge that there was some there was a logic into the thing that you were trying to do. I think we would just need something in between parts two and three that would help raise it basically raise another question. And I think either of those could work. I think it might be easier to do the first structure we talked about


Cassidy  46:59  
thoughts. Yeah, that sounds good. I mean, yeah, thank you for the direction too. Okay, so, yeah, I'll try to work with that for sure. Cool.


Ethan Sawyer  47:07  
Sometimes I get self conscious about being so directive in the thing. But I mean, basically what I'm giving you is a very simple sort of, here's who I was then this thing happened. Here's where I became structure. And that's, I think it's useful here and for students listening. I think that can be useful for other essays, okay? And the reason I'm not, by the way, going into values for that part, because I think that the middle part of the essay, where you talk about the stuff you did, like the sciency stuff, I think some of that's going to change. I think still lean on intellectual vitality, intellectual curiosity. Show them you can do Stanford level work, especially if in the prompt, it's talking about learning. It used to be the word intellectual, but I would say, so still keep that strong thing. But I'm not gonna analyze the values, because I feel like a lot of that's gonna change. Side note to counselors, if you're doing this with a student, I wouldn't rush to the values work, because then the student thinks, oh, then I have to keep all those things, to keep all those values in and instead, I paused and went, Hey, let's maybe work on this piece, and then you can do the value scan later. So just wanted to name that. All right, let's move on to the roommate essay. How's that sound?


Cassidy  48:10  
Yeah, sounds good. This prompt asks virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate and us get to know you better, and this also has a 250, word limit. So I wrote Dear Rumi. Below are the four most important things to know about me, very, very important. I'm an ugly, snotty crier. I'm also brutally unphotogenic, and I have a horrible posture despite being a practically lifelong dancer. This is not to forewarn you that you're rooming with a troll. I'm human, I promise. But I believe in oversharing as an avenue to encourage candor within a relationship. However, if my oversharing becomes TMI or if my troll like posture, unnerves you. Please be honest with me. I love thoughts. I'm in love with the seemingly infinite variety of them, how tiny nuances and strokes can create a wholly unique style. My notebooks are covered in calligraphic lettering and designs, my way of expressing my maker side. If you need a handmade birthday card, I can make one. I'm my mom's twin. Seriously, though, people I barely know have approached me about seeing my mom in the wild, it's a little disorienting. Do I look 50 years old, or does she look 17? But I'm honestly proud to resemble my biggest role model. I hope beyond just appearance, that I also reflect her patience and maturity. Have you heard of Feynman technique? I'm the biggest fan of active recall study methods like five of us practice quizzes and we'll champion them whenever possible. So any muttering about hyperbolic trick that you overhear is me digesting the day's lessons, not a sign that your roommate is crazy. Probably I can't wait to meet you. Hugs. Cassidy, love


Ethan Sawyer  49:56  
it. What do you what do you like about this one? Let's just go there and. And if you want to weave in values, great


Cassidy  50:01  
for this one, I do like how my I think my voice is showing through. It's like, honestly, like how I would talk in person. Probably, yeah, yeah,


Ethan Sawyer  50:10  
great. What are the let's just do a value scan real quick. What are some of the values that you notice coming through?


Cassidy  50:15  
I think in the first paragraph, I wove in a little bit of honesty and, like, candor, and then I was talking about variety and, like, creativity, and then I was talking about family and a little bit of patience and maturity. And then I just nerded out a little bit totally


Ethan Sawyer  50:31  
I see all those things. And, like, I love the there's a quality of self effacing humor that you're leaning on here, which I think is really fun, and it sort of breaks up the, you know, the more serious stuff, and even, like, you know, the nerdy parts of you, you know that the ending not a sign that your roommate is crazy parentheses. Probably there's a really small touch here too. When you put hugs Cassidy, you sign it with a small eight hugs. And I actually really like that, because it feels like it's, I think that's, this is exactly what they're looking for. Is like, Who are you when you're just talking, you're just talking, you're just hanging out. I love that you bring in the maker side, because that's something we haven't gotten elsewhere. I think that's lovely. I love that you're like, not shy about being like, Yeah, I'm my mom's twin. That feels like something that shows maturity. And then you're like, you have a great relationship with her. It's just really beautiful. Yeah, there was, I mean, there was a tiny way that I was like, is the this is such a tiny note. I don't even know if I want you to change anything, but is it like so much self effacing in the second paragraph that it's like, okay, we get it like, you know, could you remove, for example, the second troll, like, posture like, is it okay? I'll give you an example. I could see someone reading this. So okay, I was, I was in the car with my daughter, who is nine now, and we were singing Hamilton, and she was with her friend of hers, and the friend was singing Hamilton too, and we were, like, rocking out. I thought we were having a great time. And then afterwards, I was like, hey, Zola, do you think Sahara? Like, how was, you know, what did Sahara? Did she say anything about, like, hanging out? She's like, Yeah, she says she thinks you're cool, but like that you try too hard. And I was like, what? And I was like, I don't do it. Was I trying too hard? And then I was thinking about, like, Oh, I really want, I really wanted my daughter's friend to like me. And so there was maybe a little bit of like, trying too hard vibes coming through. Now, as I look at this essay, I'm like, is Cassidy trying too hard here? And I go, Well, it's probably pretty true that Cassidy wants the room, the imagined roommate, and also Stanford to like her. So I would say, do another scan. And if you feel like there are any moments where you're like, Okay, maybe I'm trying a little too hard there. Maybe dial it back. And the only time I really noticed that was in the second paragraph. This is another super tiny note, but there's a weird thing about the Stanford roommate essay where students feel really inspired to use exclamation points. So tiny note, if you use two, I think it's great, but as you sort of as students start to become more effusive. Sometimes I'll read one of these and they'll have like, six or eight exclamation points, and I think it's just a way of seeming casual. But I didn't feel like there were too many here. I just thought it was worth pointing out if you do any tweaks. But yeah, I think this is lovely. It feels fun. It feels like it shows other sides of you. I see the values, but they're not like overwritten. It feels like they're brought in really nice ways. So, yeah, I don't have too many notes. Cool. Thank you. Cool. Next one, let's


Cassidy  53:20  
do it. Shall we? Okay? This is the last like 250 word Stanford prompt, and it says, Please describe what aspects of your life, experiences, interests and character would help you make a distinctive contribution as an undergraduate to Stanford University, and I wrote, after losing my dad, the overwhelming stagnants of grief sparked in me a need to be a self starter, to do more than just gain back the parts of myself that I had lost, but also discover new ones. It also kindled my identity as an advocate for emotional cognizance in the face of our growing instinct to drown out uncomfortable feelings. As a result, I personify a culmination of Arts Sciences and the human connection that bridges the two maneuvering the grieving process, I found self expression in my body when I couldn't find it in words. Ballet enabled me to embody a narrative with the lines and curves of my limbs. And when a patient of the oncologist that I shadowed showed me a picture of his son, 17 years old, like me, my heart cried out for this boy who might too lose his father, and I was hit with a profound desire to save lives through Medicine at Stanford, I see these three distinct identities converging warming up for class at my home studio, AOC ballet. I picture myself doing the same backstage of dinkelspiel auditorium, preparing to perform with Cardinal ballet company. I also hope to work at the cannery crest program to research the mechanisms that underlie abnormal cell growth. This will allow me to better understand the root causes of carcinogenesis and contribute to advancements in cancer treatments. Pairing psych 131 a how to think like a shrink with Stanford's the bridge club all champion the important. Sense of holding space through peer counseling, donned in a lab coat and pointe shoes, I see myself making both direct and over our overarching impacts to and through the Stanford community.


Ethan Sawyer  55:12  
Awesome. All right, back to you. What do you what's your evaluation of this? What do you think's working? Well, what do you think could use work? Or what do you have questions


Cassidy  55:20  
about I think I tried to connect, like, all the opportunities I would take advantage of at Stanford to like, personal parts of myself. So it's not just like, oh, like, I want to do this, but it's like, I want to do this for a reason. I think I can maybe talk about more about the impact I'd have on the community, and not just what I take away from it, because that's a big part of the prompt, actually. So, yeah,


Ethan Sawyer  55:43  
awesome, yeah. So I like this. I love the structure of this. I think that bringing up three different identities is great. And I think that the word limit is pretty I think there might be okay. So there's like, you get to the midpoint where you're like, at Stanford, I see these, these three distinct identities converging. There's like, we're at like, 167 there, and there's a two and 50 word essay, so it leaves about 90 or so for the second part. And I actually think for this essay, which is a really popular one, by the way, many, many schools have this many selected schools, I should say, have this prompt. So side notes. Anybody who's listening heads up this one. You might end up this one. You might end up writing this whenever you apply to selective schools, and this one especially became popular after Supreme Court decision to ban race conscious admission. So anyway, there's more on that in a guide that will link. But so I see the tooth, so I see self starter, I see advocate. And then what's the third identity? What would you call it?


Cassidy  56:41  
Yeah, I don't see it because you


Ethan Sawyer  56:44  
mentioned it's different. I see these three distinct identities converging. And I was like, I wonder which one you're talking about, because you talk about self starter, super clear advocate. And then I guess I see the potential for two different identities in the second half of the first paragraph. So what are the identity? What's the identity that you want to hone in on there?


Cassidy  56:59  
Oh my gosh. I was actually talking about art sciences and then human connection as the three identities.


Ethan Sawyer  57:06  
Oh, so the identity, so the identity, okay, I think I'm making identity means something slightly different. So I guess I'm thinking of identity as some of the like, some like, some of the stuff that was like, on your brainstorming exercise. Wait,


Cassidy  57:19  
no, I don't know. I don't know.


Ethan Sawyer  57:21  
I mean, it could be, I think that like these seem to be like Arts Sciences. Those seem to be like, they seem to be disciplines. They seem to be like, you know, fields of interest. They seem to be like different things, identities. So I guess my question would be, if you wanted to go with Arts Sciences and human connection, I guess my question would be, as an artist, what is, who do you, who do you embody as an artist? I mean, it could be that it's just the artist identity, so almost like, think of it like, as the avatar. But there might be something even more specific. So it could be, for example, that, you know, I'm just gonna look like, let me see. Let me see. So for the, let's say for the I don't know your love of the arts when you're doing ballet, for example, who? Who are you when you're when you're on the stage, when you're in the rehearsal room, when you're working with others? Because I think getting into some of that would give us a sense of the kind of person you're going to be on the Stanford campus. More on that in just a minute. And then I really love this advocate identity. I just think that's that's wonderful. I think it's related to human connection. But it's like, yeah, it just feels really powerful. And then again, I'm wondering, how, wondering, how does that manifest on the Stanford campus? And then TBD, for the third one. I think you've got some interesting different options here. But then another way to do this, so for anybody who's listening, the other way that you can do this is go and look at the three different things, whatever you research that you want to get involved with on campus. And the reason I think rule of three is nice. I think it's pretty good for a 250 word essay like, you can probably talk about three different things. So you talk about being involved with Cardinal ballet. You talk about being involved with, you know, researching through this crest, you know, Canary crest program. And then you talk about being involved, you know, and potentially taking, you know, either getting involved in this course, or maybe getting involved in Stanford's the bridge club. So the thing that I'm wondering about as I listen to you talk about these is, who are you going to be when you walk in the door. So you come into Cardinal ballet, like, what is this identity beyond just like I'm a dancer, or I'm a you know, ballerina, like, what? Who are you? Are you the enthusiast? Are you the connector? Are you the catalyst? Are you the you know what I mean? So I think it might be good to go back to that roles and identities exercise, which for anybody who's like, Wait, what is he even talking about? Check out an earlier episode, but we'll link to it in the show notes here. I'd love to see if you could even more specifically, go, okay, based on my interest in being involved in ballet, here's the identity that I'm going to bring. Um, you know, it's sort of like the identity within the artist. Because I think artist is kind of like a broad term that could encapsulate dancer and lots of other things. But I guess I wonder, like, what kind of dancer Are you going to be, and what kind of who, what kind of human are you going to be as you are, you know, in this dance environment, same thing for as you're talking about researching the mechanisms that underlie abnormal cell growth. So again, I'm like, Cool, you're gonna, you've done your research, you're gonna get involved in this. But I want to know, like, Who are you gonna be in the lab, or who are you gonna be in the in the halls of the, you know, whatever it is, the hospital or the research, you know, facility. And then for the like, how are you gonna make a difference? And then for the third one, you hint at one here, which is nice. You say, I'll champion the importance of holding space. So if I just, like, convert that one quickly, it's like I am a space holder, or I am an empathizer or something like that. And I think you kind of hinted that already in the first half of your essay. But what I'm going to suggest is a mostly rewrite for this one where in the way to do this, I think, will just be to outline it, and the way to do it is like, pick three identities, show how each of those identities has developed, and then show how each of those identities will manifest in these particular areas that you've mentioned. So an example of this would be, I'm going to use an example that's not you when I first got involved in robotics. That's a cheesy example, but maybe that's better. That's cheesy. I am, you know, in my robotics team, I am the catalyst. I'm the one coming up with ideas. I'm the one who's, let's try this and try this. You know, a lot of the ideas fail, but hey, my team can always count on me to come up with six more. Okay, pause, there's the other two identities. But then at Stanford, I want to catalyze in this particular robotics opportunity. I want to be the one who's coming up with stupid ideas, blah, blah, blah. That's the kind of thing that I'm talking about. So you've got some nice options. I'm going to suggest these first 157, words that you just cut them and put them somewhere else. And the reason I'm telling you to put them somewhere else is that side note to anybody listening, I think that if you keep them on the dock, you kind of obsess about the way that you used to say it, and you kind of like it, especially if you revise it a few times. So it's just easier to put it out of sight and then create the new outline. Don't see this as being like, Okay, I've wasted all this time. No, you found potential new a potential new outline. So again, just to simplify three identities, how they each developed, and then how are they going to manifest on the campus? Specifically, I would suggest for this one, probably, if you can get to it, 100 words for the identities and more like 150 for the how they'll manifest on the campus. Think of the first part as really just set up for what you'll put later. Many students will flip this. They'll just spend most of their word budget talking about who they've been 200 words and then 50 words about how they'll manifest on campus. And I want you to try and flip it. Maybe you'll get to like, 5050, how does that sound? Yeah,


Cassidy  1:02:56  
that sounds cool. Thank you.


Ethan Sawyer  1:02:58  
Great. Make edits, and then when you're ready, maybe you can tweak all of these and then just tag me in each of them that you want me to look at.


Cassidy  1:03:05  
Okay, cool. All right, should


Ethan Sawyer  1:03:06  
we do the short answers?


Cassidy  1:03:08  
Yes, okay, the first one asks, What is the most significant challenge that society faces today? This is 50 words, by the way. And then I said discourse has begun giving way to debate as the goal of discussion shifts from community engagement to individual victory. Conversations become increasingly likely to result in ostracization, rather than communication. Development on a larger scale, I fear the succession of empathy by pride.


Ethan Sawyer  1:03:34  
Okay, I'm just going to jump in here with some thoughts. I there's so many cool ideas in here, but I feel like I'm a little bit searching for what is the significant challenge. So without looking at it for a second, let me just challenge you. Can you say back to me, what is the most significant challenge that society faces? Try to do without looking at what you've written because, and that's hard to do, but that's kind of like, it's a way that I'm like challenging you here. What is this the most significant challenge? And you don't have to say it in like, any kind of, like, fancy way, just like, what is it? What's at the heart of it for you?


Cassidy  1:04:07  
I think, like, the last sentence, like, empathy being replaced by pride. And then, like, we see that in the way it manifests in like, really dogmatic debates.


Ethan Sawyer  1:04:18  
And why is that a big deal? Because I


Cassidy  1:04:22  
feel like empathy is like our way of connecting with each other, and if we like lose that to our pride, then we like distance ourselves from like each other and like the rest of society, and we don't get that like community building that's so important for our emotional well being.


Ethan Sawyer  1:04:41  
So when you say empathy getting rid of pride, the way it lands for me is like, I think I know what you're talking about, but there's some ambiguity. When I hear that and I'm like, and I go, Well, what do you mean? Like, can you think of examples? The challenge with this is 50 words, and so it's like, ooh, with this prompt. You kind of want to come up with something that's like, broad, but not too broad, specific, but not too specific. And that's the weird thing about this prompt. So I wonder if there's, I would say, come up with, like, three to five different ways of saying empathy giving way to pride. And I would challenge you to think about specific examples of this, because it might lead to, oh yeah, I could weave in this example to show this thing, or it might lead to a different phrasing of the thing that I want to say. And I would, I would, I would, I guess, I would challenge you to come up with something that you could maybe even start with at this, you know, put at the start of the essay, so that the reader goes, Ah, okay, cool. I think I know what you're talking about, because it feels like it sort of is ramping up, and then you say the thing at the end, and that's when I have even more questions. So challenge for this one, can you put the thesis or the thing, the answer at the start, and then expand on it just briefly, maybe with a couple examples, and just be open to maybe that phrasing changing? Okay? The reason I'm the reason I'm suggesting do a few different options is that sometimes that relieves the pressure of needing to, like, get it perfect on one. And so sometimes, you know, students will hear me say that, I'll be like, come up with three options for this one. They're like, three, and I'm like, yeah. And chances are one of those is bound to be interesting or cooler, and it just frees your brain up a little bit to just be like, quantity over quality. So All right, let's move


Cassidy  1:06:19  
on. Okay. The second one asks, How did you spend your last two summers? I said, 2023 first time traveling with family since my dad's passing four years ago, learned to drive, and then 2024 delved into neuroscience, concerns like acquired psychopathy, explored careers in psychiatry, found my calling in oncology, researched how social determinants of health factor into healthcare access, drove my brother to volleyball practice.


Ethan Sawyer  1:06:48  
I love this. This is really sweet. I don't really have many notes for this. I It feels accessible. It feels like you've got some, like, cool, smart stuff you did, you know, it feels like I can see, you know, you mentioned earlier when we talked about the values, the personal growth aspect, and I can see that here with the way that you're exploring psychopathy, psychiatry and then oncology, like I see that personal development side of you. I love the connection back to family. Now that I mention it, though, because I worry that I'll forget to say it to you again. I if, if personal development and growth is a big part for you, and a big thing, I would say, once we're done here, and even as you're, you know, making some tweaks on a couple of these essays, I wonder if there are one or two more places where you could work in a clear commitment to personal development, because I think it's something that's so important too, and I think it's kind of coming through, but I think that you could maybe find one or two more moments. But this is lovely. I think this is, this is this is really nice.


Cassidy  1:07:42  
Okay, thanks. The next one asks, What historical moment or event do you wish you could have witnessed? And I said, 1730s Marie Camargo, a trailblazing ballerina, performs a routine with cabrioles and onto Chicago's jumps previously executed only by men. Her vivacious brilliance recast perceptions of how women should dance in ballet. I wish I could tell her that grand Allegro, big jumps is my favorite part of dancing.


Ethan Sawyer  1:08:08  
Cool. What I like about this is, one, it's gonna be something you love. Two, it's probably teaching the reader about someone from history that they're not familiar with. My question to you is, if you had to say, here's the value that I here's what I want them to get about me. In this particular answer, what do you feel like is the sort of like leading value? What's What do you want them to get about you? I


Cassidy  1:08:30  
think I want to kind of show my side for like feminism or like gender equality.


Ethan Sawyer  1:08:37  
Oh, cool. Okay. I see some of that here with jumps previously executed only by men. Her vivacious brilliance recast perceptions of how women should dance in ballet. Cool. Okay. And then this final sentence here, I wish I could tell her that grand Allegro, big jumps is my favorite part of dancing. I think there's a way that I think this works, by the way. I think if you were to submit it tomorrow, I'm not mad, but there's there's a way that there's something about that last sentence that I think the reason I asked the question is that it made a little bit less clear to me what the main thing was. And so if the focus is feminism, and I think that you kind of set that up nicely with the second with the first and second sentences, you might potentially tweak this one so that it really just, like drives the point home, whatever the point is you want to make. This is me like being super, like fine tooth comb here, but I do think that's a new cool you have mentioned being an advocate in, you know, in a different way earlier in the essay. I think this is a new cool element to potentially bring in here. Cool.


Cassidy  1:09:39  
Thank you. Yeah.


Ethan Sawyer  1:09:41  
Two more. Here we go. Woo, okay.


Cassidy  1:09:45  
The next one asks briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities, a job you hold or responsibilities you have for your family. And then I wrote a few different versions for this one. The first one is about my role as a CCC ambassador. So I said. Said, college day, Coco and congrats, senior. Reveal. As a CCC ambassador, I meticulously plan each event in hopes of connecting another person to the CCCs resources. I've always been thrilled for college, but I hope my assignment for post secondary plans is palpable enough to spread to my peers too


Ethan Sawyer  1:10:18  
cool. Let's read the next one. And then


Cassidy  1:10:20  
I wrote about House of grace. I said, in between my official duties of answering calls and organizing donations at House of grace, I bond with the shelter's residence. When a resident tells me, I remind her of her niece, I glow at the idea that I might make the time between the reunions seem a little shorter cool.


Ethan Sawyer  1:10:37  
So I really I love the vibe in each of these, in the first one, in the CCC one, it feels like, oh, okay, cool. I can see that you're going to be, like, active on campus, you know, if you're not an RA, like, as a freshman, probably as a sophomore, and you know, like you're going to get involved for the second one, I see that you're somebody who volunteers. You know, that community service aspect is sort of echoed one of the elements that I would love to think of this as an opportunity for is we talked briefly about collaboration, and one of the things you noted is that as you looked at your personal statement, you're like, Yeah, I don't know if collaboration is necessarily coming through as strongly as it could. I think with either of these activities, there's an opportunity to show us, what is it like having Cassidy in the room? Like, what is it like talking to her? Who is she? How does she treat people? What's that like? So, and I don't have a strong preference for which you decide to do this with. I actually would suggest, because I know you're a worker. Like, try with both, try with each of these, and see which one more you know easily, more effectively, could demonstrate what it's like having Cassidy on my team.


Cassidy  1:11:51  
Yeah, cool, Yes, that sounds good, great. And


Ethan Sawyer  1:11:53  
it's 50 words, so yeah, again, I'm not mad if you submit the submit one of these tomorrow, but I think it could come through even stronger. Awesome. All right, last one, here we go.


Cassidy  1:12:03  
Yay.


Ethan Sawyer  1:12:03  
Okay, so awesome


Cassidy  1:12:06  
list five things that are important to you. I send my screw ridden plastic bone from an orthopedic surgery program Bob Marley summers and Noah Kahan winters youth group evenings hosted at my house, pummeling and getting pummeled by Shy Guy, little brother and Yoshi mom during Mario Kart game nights, shrieking with my friends when we get the perfect titration. Cool,


Ethan Sawyer  1:12:31  
cool. So I'll just tell you what I'm seeing here. So I'm seeing, you know, nerdy side right back to Science. I'm seeing just like, hang out, chill, what you listen to. I'm also seeing some of that connection to spirituality in a subtle way, which is nice. I love the mom and brother thing that feels really fun and really sweet, and then shrieking with my friends, we get the perfect titration. Again, it's sort of that like nerdy sciency side. So here's what I want you to do. I think this final one is working well, but, and again, I wouldn't be mad if you submitted it right away. But I want you to go back through your application, back to the everything I want colleges to know about me, the values list. And I want you to evaluate and go, Okay, are there any pieces of me that I feel like should be revealed or could be revealed even more clearly? And then use that sort of like five things I want you to know about me as like a place where you could, like, switch out any one of those things, because the way you have the qualities there are great. They're just things that we, you know, we've seen in the application already, so not bad. Just like, is there anything else you want to kind of work in there? And I want you to, just like, you know, work on these, I don't know, for like, a week or so, and then tag me, if you would, and I will send you notes. And then I think the next time that our listeners are gonna hear from you is maybe when you're finding out about schools and stuff. So I'm excited, and I imagine other folks are too. So I just want to say thanks, Cassidy again for like, being willing to do this here with me. Oh my gosh,


Cassidy  1:13:59  
thank you so much. I've loved working with you, and you're so awesome. And, yeah, thank you so much.


Ethan Sawyer  1:14:05  
Well, it's my pleasure, and I will see you sooner rather than later. I mean, I'll tag me in the Google Doc, like, really soon. Okay,


Cassidy  1:14:12  
okay, got it, okay. Thank you. Bye.


Ethan Sawyer  1:14:20  
Hi friends, thanks again for listening. We will check in with Cassidy right around acceptance time to see how things turned out. And I don't know, who knows, maybe we'll do another little session in there on, you know, some other part of the process, TBD on that. I'm so excited to intro the next series. This is called my storytelling and identity series, and basically I'm going to be interviewing three different friends who are screenwriters and television writers, and talking to them about how their identities shape their work. So stay tuned for that. I can't wait for you all to listen. One of them is even a video podcast with my friend Dave. So stay tuned. If you haven't already, check out what's going on. At college essay guy.com the best way to do that is to basically opt into anything on the website. Again, that's college sa guy.com and, yeah, stay curious. You.


Transcribed by https://otter.ai